Total Drama Campsite Chapters

These are the chapters for Total Drama Campsite. :3

Chapter 1- Invasion of the Campers
In a dusty, pebbly clearing in the middle of a dense forest, Chris McLean himself attempts to assemble a tent. At first he seems confident, but seems to loose his gusto as he looks through the instructions, frowning. Tossing them behind his shoulder, he starts to assemble the shelter free-hand, but he doesn't seem to get anywhere with it. In the end, he kicks the pile of plastic mesh to the side and turns to the cameras.

"Err... It's harder than it looks. Trust me." says Chris, embarassed.

He scoops up a backpack from the ground, slings it over his back, and begins walking and talking to the camera. He follows a winding trail from the clearing to a road, which is seen in the distance.

"Anyways, this season of Total Drama, we're smack dab in a forest somewhere in Northern Ontario, we're not quite sure where. But that doesn't matter, especially on this show." Chris pauses, grinning madly like he always does.

"We have 20 all-new contestants from all over the place, but after a while, a long while, there will only be one standing. And they will win the million dollar cash prize! Awesome, eh?"

He stops as he reaches the road, which seems to be worn down, but usable. There is a clear lack of trees nearer to the road than there was back at the clearing.

"Meh. I've got to get Chef onto that, dunno why there's like, 5 trees in this entire area. But whatever. It's time to meet our first contestant!"

A small, shabby looking bus pulls up to where Chris is standing, smiling proudly. A girl of about average height steps out, carrying a sleeping bag and a heavy-looking backpack. She smiles at Chris, waves to the driver of the bus as she steps out.

"Thanks again!" She calls out as the bus pulls away. Chris looks at her oddly.

"Uh... You know it's just Chef in there, right?" Says Chris, obviously confused that anyone would thank Chef for anything.

"Oh, that was Chef? Well, he was much nicer than he seems on television," says the girl, "Except for the scars and the muttering swears under his breath, and the murderous rage that seems to come from his very-"

Chris cuts the girl's rantings of Chef off. "Woah there, Andrea. We don't want Chef to get angry at us... Now do we?"

He smiles nervously at the camera.

The same broken-down bus pulls up to the side of the road and a tall and skinny boy stumbles out. He turns back to the bus, having forgotten something, but Chef steps out and dumps his sleeping bag onto the ground and takes off. The boy coughs, and picks up his things.

"Xenon. What an entrance." Chris says bored-like, rolling his eyes.

"Thanks!" Replies Xenon, clearly having not got it at all.

Andrea just smiles.

The bus pulls up again and two girls step out, both who look very similar, yet very different. One has blue eyes and a happy-go-lucky smile, and the other glares angrily at the other and seems to hate everything.

"Alexi," Chris says happily, gesturing towards the happy girl, "And Alissa," making a face at the depressed one.

Alexi smiles and runs up to him. "Wow, this is so cool! I love this place already! Don't you, Lissy?"

"Just follow me and be quiet, Lex." says Alissa, grabbing her arm and dragging her away from Chris.

Chris just shrugs.

Andrea, again, just smiles.

Over the next few minutes, a tall, strong-looking boy arrives by the name of Aaron, and a relaxed-looking dude with long hair shows up, by the name of-

"Jasper-" Says Chris, "What the heck are you doing?"

Jasper pulls out a peice of licorice from his pocket, nibbles some off the end, and hands it to Chris.

"Want some, man?" He says in a low voice.

Chris grimaces. "Oh, gosh, no. No, no thanks."

"Meh, suit youself." Jasper sticks it back in his pocket.

The bus comes back again, and a small, quiet girl steps out. She walks straight from the bus to the side of the road, and stands between Aaron and Andrea, who are easily taller than her and hide her from everyone else.

"Um, Molly? The cameras are over here, sweetheart." Chris says impatiently.

"Oh... Hi." Says Molly, sticking her hand out and waving, then akwardly bringing it down again.

Andrea smiles down at Molly. "Don't worry, it's okay to be nervous sometimes. It happens to all of us."

Molly smiles up at her, and the two girls bond.

Chris facepalms.

Out of the next bus comes a girl dressed in a Hogwarts robe and holding a wand.

"Oh, I hope this season goes by quickly, I'm going to have to get back to Hogwarts soon, or Professor McGonagall is going to kill me!" She says worriedly.

Alexi laughs, and says, "Say what now?"

Chris slaps himself.

"Please, Ginny, please just go line up and don't say anything else. Please." He says eventually.

The bus arrives again, and a boy steps out.

Everyone stares.

He has a trucker hat on backwards, baggy pants, a monogrammed shirt and skater shoes. He's wearing sleek shades and sucks on a lollipop like it's the coolest thing you can do. He takes off his shades and winks at Andrea.

And nobody can tell whether to think he's a total jerk or actually the coolest kid on the block.

"Yo, Chris, wazzup home dog? You getting some fo-shizzle lately?" The cool kid says.

"Please go stand beside Ginny, you are sending me conflicting messages and I'm slightly scared." Chris says, looking very puzzled.

The kid shrugs, and walks over to the girl with a wand. "Whatev, you guys are so awks. But one thing. You guys better be remembering the name Manny, because I'm going to be winning this game."

Manny grins and Alissa glares at him.

Next up arrives a short boy, who like Manny, has a baseball cap on backwards. As he steps down from the bus, he trips and falls into the dirt in front of the others.

Everyone watches him as he gets up. Even after the dust clears, everyone remains silent, staring at the new, clumsy, kid.

Manny puts his shades back on. "Noob." He says.

Chris shakes his head as the boy goes to stand with the others. "Mark, why you such a fail?"

Mark just shrugs. "Maybe it's because that's what you are, dog." He says proudly.

Everyone looks away from him, out of sympathy for the boy.

Manny looks dumbfounded. "Yo, what is wrong with you, brotha? You got less swagger than a chicken wrapped in tin foil, shaked and baked, and served in a KFC dinner meal, man."

Chris doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. Instead, he makes a mental note to dish all his feelings that night in his new journal he got for Christmas.

The next bus stops in front of the growing group of people, and a blond girl runs out of the doors and collapses into Chris. Chef throws her things from inside the bus onto the ground and drives away quicker than usual.

"Zoey, what the-" Chris begins.

"Oh, my, gosh. I am, like, so sorry. I thought you were my dog, Kleenex. He's so cute, you know?" Says the girl, very quickly.

As she and Chris stand up, everyone realizes that her clothes are all in tatters, and are ripped in many places.

"Woah, what happened to your clothes?" Asks Andrea.

Zoey just shrugs. "I like cutting things." She says, matter-of-factly, and strolls into the woods.

Chris and the other contestants watch as she disappears into the forest.

"Uh, Zoey, where the heck are you going?" Chris calls out to her.

"Oh, don't mind me, I'm just going to the bathroom." Zoey calls back, sounding proud of herself.

A few other contestants hold in a gag.

When the next bus arrives, a pretty, haughty looking girl steps out of the doorway, pulling her things behind her in a little cart. If the others didn't know she was the next contestant, they would have thought she was one of the show's producers, from her proffesional attitude and her wearing a pant suite and all.

The girl walks up to Chris and shakes his hand. "Greetings, Chris, and I thank you for the opportunity to be on the show. You won't regret it."

She turns to the other campers, who stare blankly at her. "And for all my other contestants, I wish you good luck, and I hope that when you are all on the jury and I am in the finale, that you will consider cheering for me, Jessica, leader of the student body and head of the presidential committee for 5 years and counting, to win this television show. Thank you."

She nods to them and takes her place at the end of the group.

Manny turns to Aaron and whispers, "Yo, either I'm nutso, or that girl's got a 15-inch pole up her butt."

Jessica frowns at the two boys.

Two people come out of the next busload, one short, talking on and on enthusiastically about something, and the other, hunched over and looking so mopey he could be drooling. In fact, he is.

Chris covers his eyes with his right hand for a second, and then turns to the cameras.

"Okay, I personally want to say that I had no knowledge of half the freakshows coming today, so don't blame me if they scar you for life."

Chris clears his throat and turns to the two new boys, who wait for his welcome.

"Pip! Doug! How nice to meet you two!" He grits his teeth as he talks to them.

Pip, the shorter of the two, jumps up and down a couple of times, not being able to contain his excitement, and then launches into a whole fit of rapid speech.

"O. M. G. Chris McLean! It is such and honour to meet you, finally! Oh, wow, this place is so awesome. Are you, like, kidding me? This is so exciting! And these people look so nice! Don't they look so nice, Chris? So, so, so nice? Super duper calafradgalisticexpial-"

Chris puts a head over Pip's mouth, cutting him off. "Woah there, easy cowboy. Why don't you just join your new friend Doug over... there." He points to Doug, who is now sleeping on a rock at the side of the road.

Pip nods quickly and runs over to his sleepy friend.

Out of the next bus comes an average looking boy, who smiles at everyone kindly and walks over to the group briskly.

"Hey guys? What's up? Wow, this season is gonna be awesome! And I can't wait to make some friends!" The happy boy says.

"Oh, I'm just glad that you're one of the normaler ones, Trevor." Chris says, gesturing to a confused Trevor to join the other campers.

He walks over quickly to Aaron and Manny, trying to avoid looking at the girl with red hair twirling a wand like a baton and the grunting sounds coming from somewhere in the forest.

For a few quiet minutes, the newly met campers converse with each other, awaiting the next busload. Aaron, Manny, and Trevor have seemed to hit it off nicely, as them being the "guys" of the group.

Mark tries to join in there tight circle.

Manny turns around to see Mark pushing against his back. "Yo, squirt, what the heck are you doing?"

Mark decides to play it cool. "Yo, diggie dog, I was trying to join this here chattin' group, Fo-Shizzle McDizzle with a slight chance of Drizzles."

Aaron laughs, and Trevor smiles. Manny just shakes his head.

"Oh gawd man, you are so off." Manny turns around again, and Mark gives up. He walks over to Xenon, who had akwardly tried to join the same group a few minutes earlier.

Then, suddenly, as the next bus arrives and the newest contestant steps out, everyone stops and stares. Especially the dudes.

There, walking gloriously down the steps of the battering-ram of a bus, is the most beautiful, exotic, smexy girl any of them had every seen. Her long silky hair blows back over her shoulders as a slight breeze goes by, and she shakes her head slightly back and forth in a dramatic way. Then, she hikes her small backpack over her shoulder and steps graciously down onto the road in front of the other campers, and of course, Chris.

"Oh, damn." Manny says, mouth open wide.

"That's one fine looking girl, there." Jasper remarks.

"I'd take her to McDonald's anyday." Agrees Xenon.

The other guys turn to him and shake their heads in disapprovel. Xenon hangs his head in shame.

"Bonjour. ''Je suis très excité' d'être ici." ''The beautiful girl says.

Jessica rolls her eyes. "You can't even understand her. She talks in complete jibberish."

"That's Tatiana for you, always the odd one out." Chris says randomly.

"It's not jibberish, it's French." Tatiana says to Jessica, in a thick accent. "And you could learn a thing or two about other cultures, fille anglaise ."

Jessica sticks her hand out at Tatiana, and turns away from her. Tatiana shrugs, and walks away.

Manny, Aaron, and Trevor finally recover.

"Phew," gasps Aaron, "I thought I'd never be able to talk again!"

"Same here." Agrees Trevor.

The next bus pulls up, and a small boy jumps out, in what seems to be a halloween costume.

"RAWR!" Yells the boy.

Chris doesn't even blink. "And your name would be?"

"Leo! RAWR! I love animals!" He shouts, showing his claws.

"No duh." Replies Chris, and Leo runs over to Pip, who is giggling excitedly over the fact that someone is actually wearing a halloween costume not even in October. Because that is, like, totally awesome. Like, so totally awesome.

The next bus pulls up, and a preppy yet attractive girl steps down onto the pavement. She holds her left hand out with her fingertips up, showing off her newly done nails. She flips her hair out of her eyes sarcastically, and bats her eyelashes dramatically.

Chris shakes his head very slightly.

Jessica smiles happily. "A new addition to my winning team." She whispers to herself.

"Hey there, Chris. Nice to meet you." The girl says, eyeing her competition, and obviously not finding it nice to meet Chris at all. "I hope our accomadations are..."

"Terrible? Disgusting? Horrifyingly delicious? What did you expect them to be, Sara?"

Sara glares at Chris and walks over to the group of almost 20 other contestants, and is greeted by Jessica at the front.

"I like your style. Shall we walk?" Jessica suggests to Sara, gesturing for them to go for a private discussion somewhere amist the crowd.

Sara nods, smiling, and follows Jessica's lead.

Meanwhile, Zoey comes back from her toilet trip in the woods and lies down on the side of the road, eventually snoring.

The second-to-last bus arrives, and a wild looking girl pushes the doors open and jumps out, arms flailing and hips shaking. After the initial shock has cleared, everyone realizes she is dancing to staticy music coming from her ipod.

"Wazzup ya'll? The name's Paula, and I'm here to pa-arty!" Paula says, changing her dance so that she shuffles back and forth along the road.

Everyone kind of just ignores her, particularly because they just really don't want to have to dance on international television.

Paula senses this, and grabs Zoey off the ground and starts forcing her to dance.

"Come on girl, it's easy! Just follow me!" Paula says happily, shaking her hips back and forth and attempting to do a cartwheel.

Zoey manages to escape from Paula's iron dancing grip of death and runs as fast as she can to the back of the group, screaming the entire way.

"Wow, okay then, that's okay dudes, nobody wants to party right now." Paula says akwardly, and goes to stand alone in the crowd of contestants.

Chris smiles in relief. "Oh thank goodness, only one more messed up teenager left. I really hope they aren't completely screwed up, like the rest of these-"

Chris is cut off by the next and final bus approaching. When it stops, a boy steps out, and stands on the road in front of the others.

He has short black hair, an evil grin, and cold calculating eyes. His skin is pale and ghost-like, his lips are thin, and he is tall and strong. All together, he is an intimidating dude, that's for sure.

"The name's Hans." He says, in a low voice.

As the other contestants stare in fear and shock at their newest arrival, Chris clasps his hands together and smiles akwardly at the camera.

"That's all for today, folks! So, you've met our competitors, seen our location, and figured out just how odd this season is going to be! Tune in next week for more laughs, drama, and incredible wierdness, on Total, Drama-"

"Wait, what about my whole thing here, Mr.Big Shot? Hmm? Are we even on any teams, or are you on such a tight budget you can't even attempt to make this a watchable show? Oh, wait, it's never even been close to that, so I guess I shouldn't bother your tiny little-" Hans begins, pushing Chris away from the cameras.

Chris graps Hans' head and flicks his ear. "Get out of here, little bugger." He says, his face angered but slightly amused.

Hans walks off, giving Chris the evil eye.

Chris continues where he left off, eyeing any of the other disgruntled campers who may want to steal his spotlight.

"So, as I was saying, tune in next time on Total... Drama... CAMPSITE!"

The screen fades to black and the ending credits play.

Chapter 2- The Fast and the Delirious
Jasper sits on a stump.

The stump is in a ring of about nine other stumps, all of them surrounding a small campfire. He leans back, looking up at the sky, and sighs. He is at peace with nature.

Mark comes running up to him, from a path that leads out of the small campfire area and to where the main cabins are. He pants for a moment, then turns to an unaware Jasper.

"Jasper... Come... Chris..." Mark attempts to say.

Jasper finally turns to the exhausted boy. "Ye-es?" He says non-chalantly.

Mark seemes to have recovered. "Chris, he wants you to join everyone else...because he wants to start the next episode with everyone...in the same place... And-"

Jasper takes out a licorice from his pocket. He nibbles off a peice from the end, and hands it to Mark.

"Wanth thome?" He asks the puzzled boy, with a mouthful of licorice.

"Oh, no. No, Jasper, and where do you keep getting those things? What happened to the first one-"

Jasper sits back again, and looks up at the sky.

"Some things aren't mean to be known, son. And so we keep wondering."

He takes another bite of a new licorice.

Mark backs up from Jasper, and then turns and runs back to camp.

When he gets there, he finds Chris waiting for him, tapping his foot in impatience.

"Well, where is he? What the heck is he doing down there?"

"One guess." Mark says between breaths.

"Ah, I see." Says Chris quietly, having understood.

He slaps himself.

 * * * *

"Last time, on Total Drama Campsite," says Chris happily, smiling at the cameras and standing in front of two cabins side by side, "We met our 20 new competitors for this season. And what fun we had! There was a cool dude, some Harry Potter fanatic, and even a girl who pooped in the woods! So don't change the channel, and stick around for this episode of TD!"

A yawn is heard in the backround, and Chris turns to see an akward looking boy in green polka-dot pajamas stepping out of the cabin on the left hand side. He waves to Chris, and after checking if anyone else is awake for him to confront, he begins to walk over to the man.

As the boy walks towards him happily, Chris holds his hand over his eyes and mumbles angrily to the camera.

"Start 5 minutes late, they said. Wouldn't make a difference, they said. You wouldn't have to talk to any- Hey, Xenon, what's up?" Chris puts on a smile as Xenon reaches him.

"Oh, Chris, what's up?" Xenon asks.

"I just said that." Chris says, unimpressed.

"Oh, ya, you did!" Xenon laughs.

"Go away. I mean... Go get some clothes on. I don't want to see your pajamas." Chris says to Xenon, "We're going to start the next challenge soon."

Xenon nods and walks off.

Chris glares at him as he walks away.

"Off all the pointless things..."

Meanwhile, the other campers are waking up and getting ready for the day ahead.

In the boy's cabin, things are moving very slowly.

Almost everyone is asleep, and a few people are slowling getting up.

At the sound of Xenon returning to the dorm and getting into his regular clothes, Manny sits up.

"Yo, what's going on man? We have a challenge or something?" He asks Xenon.

"No, I just got up early and had a pleasent chat with Chris..." begins Xenon, "Uh, dude. Man. Guy. I mean... Yo."

Manny just shakes his head and gets up out of bed.

Pip smiles happily under his covers, and throws them off, revealing he is completely dressed already.

Aaron looks at him oddly. "Uh... Pip. How did you get dressed so fast? I mean... I didn't see you get up or anything yet."

Pip rolls his eyes, and smiles happily.

"I slept in my clothes, silly. What else was I going to where?"

Trevor pipes up. "Well, you could have worn your paj-"

"ME TOO!"

Leo throws off his blanket and reveals that he is already in his lion costume.

"Ah, geez." Manny says reluctantly.

"I know right? So lamo." Mark agrees, looking over at his new-found idol for support.

Manny sighs, and steps away from Mark.

At the same time, in the girls' cabin, things are much different.

Most of the girls are already up, and getting dressed or doing their hair.

Jessica glares angrily at Molly in the center of the room. Molly looks down at her feet.

Everyone else pretty much ignores them.

"Okay, so tell me one more time why you were in my stuff?" Jessica says angrily.

Molly doesn't look up. "Well, I was on my top bunk, which is above yours, when I accidently dropped my special ring off the side of the bed. And... It fell into your open suitcase, so I was-"

Jessica cuts her off. "Oh, ya, likely story. Hey, Alexi," Jessica says, pointing to the smiling girl brushing her hair, "Go check under mine and Molly's bed to see if her special ring is there."

Alexi searches for a moment, while almost everybody watches, (As they have started to eavesdrop on the conversation) and pulls out a small ring from underneath the bed.

"I got your necklace!" Alexi cheers.

A few girls laugh, and Alissa, seeing her sister being made a fool of, grabs the ring from her hand and gives it to Jessica.

"Thanks," She says, and turns to Molly. "Ah, what is this? Your ring, I see? And was it in my luggage?"

Molly shakes her head slightly.

"Well, answer her, little girl. Or we're going to make you." adds Sara, backing her friend up.

Jessica nods.

The air in the room has turned ice cold in a matter of seconds. Paula coughs. Zoey farts quietly, but nobody hears her and she lets out a breath of relief.

"No. It wasn't in your luggage." Molly says quietly.

"Ha. I told you, twirp." Jessica says coldly, shoving the ring towards Molly.

Molly takes it and runs out of the cabin, crying.

Andrea steps towards Jessica.

"What was that for? Jessica, that was such a mean and selfish thing to do, I hope you're ashamed of yourself, making Molly cry like that." She says, and walks out the door to try to comfort the saddened Molly.

Jessica rolls her eyes.

Ginny speaks up.

"Um... Jessica, I don't mean to be a Malfoy or anything, but I kind of agree with Andrea."

Manny steps out of the boys' cabin, and sees first a crying girl, and then a screaming one run out of the girls' cabin. Then, seconds later, a fit of shouting erupts from the same cabin.

He looks at Trevor, and Trevor looks back at him.

Hans steps out of the cabin behind them, and grins.

"Excellent." He says, as the two boys looks at him funny.

"Whatever. Let's just find out what's up for today." Trevor says boredly.

After about an hour of waiting in front of the cabins for all of the campers to arrive, Andrea and Molly finally return from the small outhouse in the woods. Molly sniffles and Andrea has her arm around the girl's shoulder.

Chris rolls his eyes at the two and Andrea glares at him.

"Finally." He says tiredly.

Using his hands as signals, Chris gets the 20 campers to stand in a straight line lengthwise in front of him, girls on the left, boys on the right. He smiles happily.

"Well, before I assign you your first challenge of the season, I may as well give you your teams." Chris says, clearly excited.

Hans smiles evilly, but most of the campers just frown, or remain emotionless.

"Thanks for the enthusiasm, guys." Chris says, frowning. "Really makes great T.V."

Paula, sensing Chris's boredness, breaks out into dance.

"Mhm, oh ya. Break it down, now. Yes, baby, work it girl. Shake what your mama gave you. Oh, work that-"

Chris shakes his hand back and forth in her direction, then covers his ears, and then switches to covering his eyes.

"Oh, god, Paula, stop, your hurting me." He says, sounding distressed.

Paula stops dancing and gets back into line.

Chris knocks himself in the head and blinks a couple of times.

"Okay, I think I'm good." He says. "Anyways, your teams!"

Pip gives a single clap, producing many stares.

Chris rolls his eyes, and continues.

"It's going to be simple this season, but classic. The teams are... All the boys, and all the girls." Chris says dramatically.

Many cheers erupt from the boys' side of the line, but on the other end, all the girls seem to just hate each other more.

"Yes, yes, yes! All guys!" Aaron says enthusiastically, high-fiving Manny.

Mark holds his hand up to high-five Trevor.

"Ya, we're the coolest cats eva!"

Trevor, feeling disturbed, smiles meakly at Mark and walks over to Manny and Aaron.

Mark, feeling ashamed, thinks about his Grandma's cookies, and smiles.

"I love you Grannie." He says.

Sara and Jessica, standing side by side, look over their team.

"Could get rid of her..." Sara murmurs, glancing over at Paula, who sways her head back and forth.

"She's not very useful..." Jessica whispers, looking at quiet, and sad-looking Molly.

"And she's- Zoey, what the heck are you doing?" Sara says, watching as Zoey fiddles with the legs of her pants.

"Almost done Sara, hold on a sec..." She says, focusing on her task.

"Ya, but-" Begins Sara, but she stops when Zoey grabs the bottom of her pant leg and rips them off, exposing her underwear to the entire viewing world.

The rest of her team stares at her in shock, and every single boy on the other team bursts out into laughter.

Chris stares at a grinning Zoey, absolutely stunned.

"Ah, that's much better. I think I was getting a rash or something." Zoey says proudly, oblivious to everyone else.

"That is one messed up chick." Manny remarks.

Jessica runs towards Zoey and pulls her pants up for her. Zoey looks at her, confused, but Jessica's glare is so intense that she decides not to pull them down again.

"Don't. You. Dare." Jessica growls.

Zoey whimpers, and then sees a bird flying through the air and easily forgets the entire situation.

Chris coughs loudly, bringing everyone's attention back over to him.

"Anyways... If everyone has calmed down now, I'd like to bring you to your first challenge. Oh, I almost forgot. Team colors." He looks at the confused campers in front of him.

"The what?" Xenon asks akwardly.

Doug turns to him, attempting to nod, but instead he lets out a loud snore and turns back to Chris.

"Did that boy just snore while he's awake?" Sara asks.

Chris shrugs, and continues.

"So... What color do you want your team to be? Obviously, the titles are "The Girls" and "The Boys". But I need two colors, you know, for the elimination table and such."

At this point, more than a few campers are starting to question Chris and his motives.

Hans looks angrily at Chris.

"Man, stop breaking the fourth wall." He says.

"The- Oh, forget it." Chris says, frowning. "Because you kids have barely enough knowledge for your bodies to function properly, I'm just going to choose for you. Girls are blue, guys are pink. All right?"

Pip smiles and jumps up and down. Leo joins him.

Hans isn't pleased.

"Pink? Are you kidding me? What is up with-"

Chris cuts him off.

"Follow me to your first challenge!" He says extatically.

"D'accord." Tatiana mumbles.

A couple of minutes later, after hiking through the woods on a small, bumby trail, Chris and his gaggle of campers reach a large clearing. It's complete with a large playground-looking thing on the other side opposite the group, a long track in front of them, a sand pit in-between, two small wooden boxes directly in front of the campers, and a small chest behind the climber-thingy.

"What's with the playground? And track, and- Are we back at school or something?" Manny says sarcastically.

"Aww, man, I was just getting used to wearing my vacation underwear." Xenon says unhappily, and Trevor looks at him funny.

"Me too!" Mark exclaims, hearing Xenon.

Sara and Jessica confront their team mates.

"Okay, listen guys, there are a lot of you here that we do not like. Not in the slightest. So, you had all be trying your hardest in the challenge or so help us we will vote your butt out first. Is that clear?" Sara tells them.

Jessica nods behind her.

All the other girls seem somewhat scared, but Molly appears to be terrified, and Zoey just doesn't listen.

Sara rolls her eyes.

Chris gets all of the campers attentions, and explains how the challenge is going to work.

"Okay, listen up. Each team is going to be divided into different groups/pairs. Each group or pair is going to be given their own section to complete on this speed course. We'll go section by section, and once all the sections are completed, the team that is finished will win."

The group of teenagers stare at Chris like he has three heads.

Chris facepalms, then tries again.

"The first station is the two small boxes. Alexi and Paula, you two will be trying to smash open the blue one. Manny and Mark, you guys will by trying to break open the pink one.

The campers nod, and Manny grimaces as Mark runs up to his side.

"Once the box has been smashed open for your team, Andrea will take the blue key inside the girls' chest and run halfway down the track, passing it to Sara. Sara will then run to the sand pit at the end. Same goes for the boys, except with Aaron and Doug."

The campers continue to nod.

"Tatiana and Hans will be waiting in the sand pit. Once the key has been passed to them, they will dig with it in the sand, looking for another key identical to the one they already have. Once they find the new key, they'll toss the old one and give the new one to the climber people."

"Wait, if we're just getting a new key, then why do we-" Begins Alexi, but Chris cuts her off.

"Anyways, once the climber people, Jessica, Molly, Ginny, and Alissa for the girls and Trevor, Jasper, Leo, and Xenon for the boys, have all made it through the jungle gym together, they will pass the key to the last member on their teams, Zoey and Pip. Then, the last member will stick the key into the treasure chest lock and open it, winning the challenge for their team." Chris stops talking.

Everyone is silent.

"Well, do you get it OR NOT?" Screams Chris.

"Yes!" They all shout.

"THEN GET GOING!"

After everyone gets into position, the teams are ready to begin. Chris holds his hands up in the air, standing in front of Manny, Mark, Paula, and Alexi, and of course the colored boxes. He counts down.

"Three, two, one, GO!"

Manny and Mark both run up to their box and start smashing at it with their fists. Pieces of wood start to break off.

Alexi and Paula walk up to their box. Alexi sits on it, yawning.

"I'm sorry, Paula, but I'm so tired. Alissa kept me up all night. I'm too sleepy to do anything."

She lies down on the ground and takes a nap.

Manny and Mark are making progress, but both of their fists are in serious pain.

"Manny, what do we do? It hurts so much and we haven't even gotten halfway yet!" Mark complains.

"Stop complaining, Mark." Manny says, frusterated and trying to figure out what to do.

"Ya, but I just don't know what to do? What do we do, Manny, huh? What do we-"

"I'll show you what WE'RE GOING TO DO."

Manny picks up Mark, and swings him at the box, and smashes a piece off. He picks him up again, and repeats.

"THIS. This, is what we're going to do." Manny grunts.

Paula doesn't know how to smash open a wooden box. And she doesn't know how to wake a sleeping teenage girl. But she does know how to dance.

Instead of working on breaking the box, she breaks out into a hip-hop number. Then, she starts crumping.

Her teammates watch her from afar, appaled.

"Oh my... Paula, what are you doing?" Andrea calls to her, and that being the nicest of the things being called to Paula.

Paula does a back-hand spring, having switched into contemporary dance, and smashes open the box.

Alexi wakes up, and grabs the key.

"Yes!" She cries, and runs over to pass it to Andrea,

After about fifteen more smashes, Manny finally drops the semi-concious Mark onto the ground. He grabs the box and rips it open, taking out the key.

"Ve deed eet?" Mark asks Manny from the ground.

"Uh... Ya, thanks for your help, dude." Manny says, walking over to pass the key to Aaron.

Mark starts to drift into sleep, but before he does, he says, "Me doo it." Then he whispers. "Me dood it."

"Me dood it geed."

Manny rolls his eyes as Aaron grabs the key from him, and takes off after Andrea in a sprint.

Despite Andrea's slight lead, Aaron easily passes her and hands the key to Doug.

Doug, who appeared to be sleeping upright the second before he got the key, runs so fast and so suddenly that Sara doesn't even realize Andrea is putting the blue key into her hand.

"Wha? Oh, sorry." Sara says, and takes off after the running-with-his-eyes-closed-and-slightly-drooling-in-that-gross-way-where-you-want-to-wipe-it-off-their-face-but-you-know-you-can't-because-it's-way-too-gross Doug.

After a couple of seconds, Doug reaches Hans in the sand pit and drops onto the warm sand, asleep.

Hans starts to dig as fast as he can.

Sara reaches Tatiana and tells her to move it.

Tatiana replies, "Vous êtes trop lent, signifie jeune fille."

Sara yells at her. "JUST DIG!"

Tatiana shakes her head, and begins to dig.

Hans looks up at the other team, to see their progress, and stops digging.

As the sand floats up into the air from Tatiana's rapidly moving hands, it falls lightly into her hair, giving it a golden shine. As she digs, her head moves back and forth, and so does the rest of her, bouncing, bouncing, bouncing...

Manny realizes why Hans has stopped digging.

"GOD MAN, IT'S JUST A CHICK! DO THIS FOR YOUR BROTHERS! YOU'LL GET ENOUGH BOOTY AFTER YOU WIN!"

Hans shakes his head and continues digging, although at this point, Tatiana's found her key and gives it to Ginny, who immediately jumps into the jungle gym alongside her partners.

Hans grabs his key out of the dirt and gives it to Trevor, who tells his partners to get going and they leap into the climber.

The girls, again, have an advantage, but the boys soon catch up. With Trevor leading them through the monkey bars, ball pit, and swing set, the easily get ahead off the girls. Jasper, Leo, and Xenon fight hard for their team.

Molly, being the smallest, has started to slow her group down, and Jessica, Ginny, and Alissa are forced to move at a slower pace.

"Oh, no, this is worse than when-" Begins Ginny, but she stops.

"Oh, I don't want to ruin the fifth book for you." She says to a surprised Alissa.

Alissa looks at her. "Uh, Ginny, I don't plan on reading those books, ever. Please stop talking to me."

Ginny's face looks completely shocked, then suddenly, as if something inside her has snapped, she smiles again.

Alissa is kind of scared.

"Uh, you okay, Ginny?"

Ginny laughs slightly too hard.

"What a funny joke, huh, Alissa? You are SO funny. Ha. Ha, ha, hahaha. HA!"

Alissa just nods and smiles in a frightened way.

Jessica starts to get frusterated that the boys have a lead.

"Molly, hurry up. Now." She says.

"I'm trying." Molly says, quietly, "But it's real hard for me to-"

"DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?" Jessica screams.

Molly stays silent, and picks up her pace as much as she can.

The boys are almost done their section, when Leo trips and sprains his ankle.

The others stop.

"Leo, are you okay?" Trevor asks him.

"No, go on without me! I'll stay here and decay with my friends, the bugs! Go on, now, win! Win for us! Win for our team! Win for the world!"

Trevor and Jasper look at each other, and Xenon wipes away a tear.

"Come on, man, this place will probs be a dump in the next 2 years." Jasper says, and picks up Leo.

As the boys continue on their course, at this point behind the girls, Leo has a moment.

"What has this world come to?" He says, and drops out of Jasper's arms.

"Man, we're going to-" Jasper begins, but Leo stops him.

"What has humanity come to, destroying ecosystems and hurting wildlife? What has nature done to harm us, in ways we cannot undo? Nothing. We can always recover. But the things that we do to nature, oh boy, some of those things we can never fix. And it's just going to get worse. We need to stop while we're at least a little bit ahead, peoples. WE NEED TO STOP THIS-"

Jasper grabs Leo's legs and Trevor grabs his arms. Xenon puts a hand over his mouth and they run through the rest of their section like that, Leo trying to escape from their grasps.

The girls, having sped by the boys while Leo was giving his little speech, reach Zoey who waits calmly at the treasure box.

Ginny runs up to her, and hands her the blue key.

"We did it!" Jessica cries, hugging a smiling Alissa.

Paula breaks out into dance. Again.

The rest of the girls cheer, even Molly.

In fact, Jessica actually gives Molly a thumbs up.

All is well.

And then Zoey eats the key.

Everyone is silent, until Pip starts rolling on the ground and laughing his head off.

"Did you see that? She just ate the key! Ahahaha!"

Jessica's eyelid twitches.

"ZOEY? WHAT THE $%^& DID YOU JUST $%^&*@ @#%^ &$%@ *%&*-"

Jessica stops swearing at a shocked Zoey as Trevor hands Pip the key and he unlocks the treasure chest.

All the boys cheer, and Pip watches as a Trollfaced Nyan P.op-Tart Cat flies out of the chest and into the sky.

"Oh my gosh! A TNPTC!" Shouts an amazed Pip, as he watches it fly away.

Leo smiles, his eyes watery, and he puts an arm around Pip.

"This... This is truly what friendship means." He says, hugging Pip.

They cry tears of joy, while every single other camper stares in fear at the creature that just flew out of the seemingly ordinary treasure chest.

"Oh my... Where the heck did that come from?" Chris asks an unsuspecting intern, who shrugs.

"It's a Thanksgiving miracle!" Pip says.

Chris shrugs meakly, and addresses the campers.

"The Girls, although it was pretty close, lost. They get to vote out the first person from this show. I guess you could say... You bit the big one?" Chris says smartly, glancing at Zoey.

"No." Replies Alissa.

"You definantly cannot." Agress Sara.

"Fine. Meet me at the campfire at 8:00." Chris says, unamused and slightly hurt inside.

As the campers return to their cabins, and a few lounge around outside in the nearby area, Sara and Jessica are hard at work in the outhouse.

"Okay, so... She didn't do very well in the challenge, but she was just. Teribble. Like, terrible terrible." Sara says, scribbling something down on a notepad.

Jessica leans forwards to see what she wrote, and shakes her head.

"No, no, no. This is who sucked the most. Like, come on. She has no point in this game."

"But..." Sara starts.

"Ya, but..." Jessica says, pointing to something on the pad.

Sara's eyes open wide.

"Ah, I see. Good plan."

"Yes, very. Now, I'll go for them..." Jessica says, pointing to different spots on the paper, "And you go for them..." She points to different spots.

Sara smiles. "We make a great team, Jess!"

"The best." Jessica says, grinning madly.

Meanwhile, Molly meets Andrea in front of the cabin.

"So.. You sure you want to vote her?" Andrea asks her.

"Yes. But we need more people." Molly says quietly.

"Well, I did pick her up." Andrea says, watching as Paula jumps down from a tree and runs up to them.

"Ya, mhm, we are voting her, yes, ya, yu, yo, yum, yah, we is voting-"

"Shh!" Andrea says.

"Yes, we must keep quiet. Oh.. And before we go and vote, I want to thank you guys for voting with me. Normally, no one listens to me." Molly says, looking at her feet.

"No problem, Molly. You know, your actually pretty smart, and nice!" Andrea says encouragingly.

"AND YOU KNOW HOW TO PARTY!" Paula screams, sick of not being the center of attention.

Andrea and Molly look from each other to Paula, who smiles at them happily, for they both know that neither of them really knows how to party.

Paula gets it.

"Okay, so I'm lonely. You get it. No one here likes to paaaaaarty." Paula says sadly.

"We're here for you, girl." Andrea says, smiling.

Chris stands beside them, and screams into a bullhorn.

"TIME TO VOTE!" He yells into their ears.

* * * *

After all the girls met at the campfire, sat down, stood up again for Chris to count them, sat down again, stood up for a third time to go off into the woods to find the voting stall, sat down again once they got back to the campfire, stood up for a fourth time because Chris got angry that they didn't wait for him to tell them to sit down for a third time, and then they sat down for a fourth and final time to be read the votes and find out who was to be eliminated, Chris began reading the votes.

"Chris, why did you get the author to explain the voting situation in such a convoluted, very un-descriptive and confusing way?" Asks Alexi, once they sit down for the last time.

Chris glares at her.

"You told me not to break the fourth wall earlier today, now it's your turn." He says spitefully.

Alexi shrugs.

"Okay." She says, happily.

Chris rolls his eyes, and get everyone's attention.

"Okay, listen up ladies. There are 10 of you here tonight, but after you leave, there will only be 9 left. The person who recieved the most votes will be eliminated from the game, and is O. U. T. I'll be handing out something I found around the campsite every elimination to the people who are still in the game. Today, I managed to pick up some pine cones."

The girls aren't impressed.

"Pine cones? Wow, how cheap can this show get?" Asks Jessica.

Zoey smiles at her.

"You know, they taste pretty good."

Jessica glares at her.

"Be quiet, crazy girl."

"Be quiet, ugly and really mean girl who needs to get plastic surgery or something because she is ugleeeey!" Zoey says, snapping her fingers in a "Z" formation.

Jessica looks shocked, and sticks her tongue out at a proud Zoey.

"Anyways, girls, I'd like to hand out the pine cones today if you don't mind. The first pine cone of safety goes to........ Sara."

He tosses her a pine cone.

"The next few go to........ Paula, Ginny, Tatiana, Andrea, Alexi, and Alissa."

He tosses them their pine cones.

Only Zoey, Jessica, and Molly are left.

"All of you racked up at least a couple of votes each. The next pine cone goes to........... Jessica."

Jessica gets up to catch her pine cone, and holds it tauntingly in front of Molly's face. Molly looks away.

Chris glares at Jessica until she sits down.

"Meanie." He says.

"And the last pine cone of the night goes to.......................

Molly. Zoey, you are the first person eliminated from Total Drama Campsite."

Molly happily catches her pine cone, and Zoey stands up.

"Well, it was fun. I did lots of stuff. You know, not boring stuff, but cool stuff. And a couple of stuff stuff." She says.

Jessica and Sara roll their eyes simultaneously.

"I pooped in the woods, got semi-naked, and tried on all your clothes while you were sleeping." She continues.

Jessica's eyes open wide, and so do a few other girls'.

"WHAT?"

"And now, it is time for me to say good-bye!" Zoey says happily.

She grabs her backpack from beside her and walks off into the woods, whistling a tune.

"Uh, Zoey, your not supposed to-" Chris begins, gesturing to the Path of Shame which he forgot to mention earlier, but he gives up.

"Whatever. It's not like she's uncapable of surviving in the woods with the animals."

"Uh, ya, whatever you say." Alissa says, unimpressed.

Chris turns to the cameras.

"Well, there you have it. Our first challenge, our first teams, and our first elimination!" Chris says happily.

The roaring of a bear echoes through the woods, from where Zoey would probably be.

Then, the sound of a girl screaming savagely and a bear whimpering reaches the terrified group's ears.

"Meh, she's probably okay. Anyways, join us next week for more laughs, drama, and messed-up-super-craziness on Total... Drama... Campsite!" Chris shouts, signing off.

The screen fades to black and the ending credits play.

Chapter 3- LMFAO (Lyrics, Music, and Fame: Amazingly Odd-Like)
It was purple.

Alexi barfed.

Alissa held out a book of colors for Alexi to read, and opened it to a page.

"I know what will cheer you up!" She said.

Alissa, knowing her sister, just nodded.

"I...I...I..." Said Alexi, for she was too upset to say anything else.

When she got there, her sister, Alissa, asked her what was the matter.

Crying, she ran all the way to school, for she was late.

It exploded in her face.

She opened the microwave and saw she had dropped her purple puppy-shaped silly band in while she was turning it on.

As she mixed all the ingredients together, she noticed that something was burning.

Knowing she had to use the microwave, she turned it on so that it could warm up.

One day, Alexi decided to have oatmeal for breakfast.

* * * *

Chris greets the cameras happily.

"Last time, on Total Drama Campsite! Teams were made, alliances were formed, and keys were eaten! In the end, Zoey was our first contestant sent home. Who will it be this week, and what will these messed kids have to do this time? Stay tuned!"

He walks over to stand between the two cabins, one for the boys, the other for the girls.

A blood-curdling shriek comes from the one on the left, and Sara comes bolting out the front door, screaming her head off.

She runs up to a shocked Chris, gasping for breath.

"Sara? What's going on?" He asks.

"Bug. Bug! Bug in my bed!" Sara manages to say, and remembering the incident, screams again.

Chris pats her back, rolling his eyes.

"Just calm down, you're fine. It was probably just an ant or something."

Sara just remains to be terrified.

From inside the cabin, another scream is heard, followed by many other screams.

"HOLY CRAP! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT THING!"

The rest of the girls run out of their cabin in their pajamas, to stand in front of a shocked Chris.

The boys, who have started to file out of their cabin, stare at the girls in astonishment.

"That's what she said." Manny snickers.

Jessica glares at him.

"Well, he's right, you know. Technically, she has said that, for it was a girl, and it's what she said. So-" Mark begins.

"Shatup." Manny says abruptly to him.

"Alrighty ma'am!" Mark says akwardly.

Xenon facepalms.

"Dude, come on! Even I haven't called anyone on our team ma'am... yet." He adds.

The other guys stare at the two outcasts akwardly.

Chris claps his hands to get everyone's attention.

"Okay, listen up, dudes and dudettes. Are you all ready for today's challenge?" He asks them.

He looks at The Girls, who are all in their pajamas, and The Boys, who all just seem really tired.

Doug falls flat on his face, asleep.

Jasper shakes his head, while Pip giggles.

"Fine," Chris eventually says, "Five minutes. But you have all better be back here for your challenge. So-"

By this time, all the other campers have taken off, leaving Doug asleep on the ground. After a couple of seconds, Jasper comes back for him, and drags him off.

"Someone's got to get him. Hey, maybe we can have licorice together or somethin'..." Jasper mumbles to no one in particular as he drags Doug off.

Chris stares at him.

Meanwhile, in the girls' cabin, Jessica calls everyone's attention as they change.

"Okay, listen up, ladies. We are already one person down. We simply cannot afford to loose another challenge."

The others nod in aggreement.

"So, Jessica and I have come up with a strategy for out next challenge, which will get us the win. No doubt." Sara adds.

The others nod again.

"Qu'est-ce que c'est?" Tatiana asks.

Everyone looks at her.

"She said, 'What is it?'" Andrea translates for her.

Jessica rolls her eyes.

"Typical model, terrible with words..."

Tatiana frowns, but doesn't respond, for she doesn't know how to.

Alexi randomly starts a conversation with her sister.

"Hey Alissa, did I ever tell you about the time I had oatmeal for breakfast...?"

Jessica shushes them.

"Attention. Everyone, and that's means you two over there," She says, pointing to Paula and Ginny in the corner, who had been trying on each other's costumes. (Paula's being an 80's disco outfit, and Ginny's her Griffindor robes)

Jessica continues. "Our plan is... for everyone to listen to me and Sara completely, and give us your utter loyalty and respect. That way, we can ensure our victory and send one of the boy's packing!"

There is silence, and then Alissa bursts out into laughter.

"Ahahaha. No offense, but how is that going to help us? You guys think you're the bomb, but you're not. You don't know anything about leadership, Jessica. And Sara, your not as popular as you think you are. C'mon guys, let's head to the challenge." She says, and heads out the door, followed by the others.

Alexi glances at a shocked Jessica and Sara.

"Awks..........." She says quietly.

As the girls begin to show up in front of Chris again, the boys do also. None of them really did much in their five minutes. Most of them just went off and did guy stuff.

"So, which one of the girls is the hottest?" Aaron asks Manny and Trevor, as they stand in a tight group.

"Eww... Seriously, man? They're all kind of nasty. Especially that Jessica chick." Manny answers.

Trevor nods, as Hans approaches them.

"Ya, but there's that one... Tatiana." He says, dreamily.

Manny whistles. "Oh, ya, she's smokin'." He agrees.

Mark pops up behind him.

"SMOKIN' LIKE SHRIMP ON THE BARBE!" He shrieks.

"Oh my gawd," Manny starts, "Get away from us, you uncool nerd-wad freaky mcfreakerton akward wanna-be NOOB!"

Mark looks down at the ground and akwardly slink away.

The others guys don't know what to say, so they just follow Manny back to Chris.

After the five minutes are up, everyone is back to where they started. Except for Pip and Leo.

Chris frowns, glancing at his watch.

"Where are those two? I swear, if they don't-"

Pip flies out of nowhere and lands on Chris' head. Leo grabs his legs and he topples over.

"GOTCHA'!" The both shout.

Chris swears a couple of times, and pushes them into line as he gets up.

"Little pieces of- Well, time for your next challenge!" Chris says, switching into an energetic voice.

The campers listen as Chris explains their task for the day.

"For your second challenge of the season, each team will be writing and conducting a song. This song will be judged by me and Chef. Whichever team has the best overall score after the judging will win, and the losing team will send someone home. Clear?" He asks the campers.

They all nod, and take off.

"Wait, where are you going?" Chris asks them, and they stop, realizing they don't know where to go.

"Aw, jeez, what did I get myself into? The ampitheatre and the storage closests are over their, just down that path." He says, sighing.

The campers all run down the path, Chris following behind.

As they arrive, they see two big storage shacks, one pink, the other blue. Most of the guys head over to the blue one, and vice verse for the girls, when they remember that the colors were switched and quickly run over to the opposite shacks.

As the girls throw open the doors of their shack, and the sunlight glistens onto a whole pile of string instruments, from violins, to violas, to cellos, to basses. And two microphones.

"Oh no! Our instruments got all wierd shaped and funny smelling!" Alexi says, unhappily.

Alissa shakes her head. "They're string instruments. You know, like the violin?"

Alexi nods. "Oh ya, you mean the niloiv! I want to play the nelvolina!" She says happily.

Alissa facepalms.

The boys open their shack doors to find it loaded with band instruments, a keyboard, a drum set, and a microphone.

"Yes! Awesome!" Trevor says, picking up a saxophone.

Mark immediatly goes over to the drums set, but Manny pushes him out of the way.

"Nu uh, little dude. Drums are for big people."

"But... But... I know how to play-"

"No. You can go play the triangle."

Mark sadly walks over to a small table and picks up the sliver triangle, and begins playing.

Back at the girls' shack, practice has begun.

Alexi, Andrea, and Ginny are all holding violins, Molly and Tatiana have violas, Sara and Paula are playing the cello and Alissa is on the bass. Sara and Jessica are standing in front of them, holding microphones.

"Everybody know what we're playing?" Sara asks her team.

They all nod, some more eagerly than others.

"Alrighty then, and a one, and a two..." Sara says.

The sounds is so loud and screechy and oddly disturbing that it almost literally blows the roof off of the shack.

"STOP! STOP! STOP!" Jessica yells over her team mates' playing.

In the boys shack, things are getting along pretty well.

Everyone has an instrument, and is practicing their own parts quietly and by themselves in different parts of the room.

As Manny practices his drum solo, Xenon comes up to him with his tamborine.

"Um... Manny?" He says.

"What is it?"

"Can you help me?"

Manny sighs.

"There's nothing to help you with."

"Oh, okay."

Xenon happily returns to his spot, and Manny rolls his eyes.

Suddenly, Pip plays a very high and slightly irritating note on his flute, resulting in Leo to begin clapping.

"That was awesome! It was as beautiful as thousands of birds, flying majestically through the air." Leo says quietly.

Hans hits himself in the head with his oboe.

Chris pokes his head into the girls' shack.

"Two more minutes." He tells them, and does the same with the boys.

"Okay, we've got time for one more practice. Now, I know that most of you have never played the-" Jessica begins, looking over her nervous team mates, "Okay, none of you have played any of these before. And yes, I'm going to admit it too. Strings suck. They only sound good if you have super skills, and without them, it's like a bunch of stray cats fighting with each other. But we have got to pull this together. Okay?"

Andrea looks at her.

"Jessica, that was oddly nice of you. Like... Woah. What's going on?" She says, laughing.

Jessica frowns at her.

"Shut up. That's what's going on."

Andrea rolls her eyes, and whispers to Molly.

"There's the Jessica I met."

Jessica looks at everyone.

"Shut up all of you!"

The boys position themselves so that they are all seated together, in a real orchestra formation.

"Okay guys? This is how we're going to be sitting for the real thing." Aaron says, holding his mic.

"Ya, but it's too crowded. Why didn't we sort this out earlier?" Pip complains.

"That's because we were practicing." Manny responds.

Pip sticks his tongue out at Manny.

Manny rolls up his sleeves.

"Oh, that is it-"

"STOP," Trevor shouts, "And just get along. If we want to win this, we have to work together!"

Manny rolls his eyes, and Pip just turns around to Leo and starts chatting with him.

After both teams have taken their instruments out of their shacks, brought them into the back room of the ampitheatre, Chris and Chef have taken their seats at the front of the stands, gotten up out of their seats to go get some coffee, sat back down in their original seats and gotten all the lighting people to set up the stage lights, and then made sure all the contestants are ready by yelling at them from their seats, the judging is ready to begins.

Alissa mumbles to herself.

"Stupid author. Always trying to confuse the readers by explaining stuff in convoluded manners-"

"Shht." Jessica says.

Alissa stops complaining.

Chris speaks into his microphone from his seat in the stands.

"First up... THE GIRLS!"

All the lights go out.

Then, a single spotlight comes down from above, onto Sara, who is holding a microphone.

"He used to say that I wasn't enough."

A long, low note slowly gets louder and louder in the background, while a long and high note slowly gets louder. A mist starts seeping onto the stage.

Another spotlight appears beside Sara, on Jessica.

"But oh, how wrong he was."

"And now, I sing this song."

"To prove it to him 'cus."

As the notes build to a roar, they suddenly go into a loud and almost rock-and-roll feeling melody, and Jessica and Sara start to sway to the music.

"I AM WORTH IT!" Jessica screams.

"I DO MATTER!" Sara cries.

"SO SHUT IT NOW!" Jessica shouts.

"AND STOP YOUR CLATTER!" Sara shrieks.

Then suddenly, as the melody gets louder and louder, it stops, and the spotlights turn off.

A small spotlight appears on Andrea, who plays the violin all by herself. The sound is beautiful, and it brings the song to a eerie conclusion.

Her light fades out, and the song ends.

Chris and Chef both stand up, and applaud.

"Bravo! Bravo! Bravissimo!" Chef shouts, wiping away a tear.

Chris, who claps just as loud, looks at Chef oddly.

"Really dude? Anyways, next we have The Boys! Come on out!"

Chef frowns at Chris as the boys' song starts.

The boys all sit in a perfect orchestra formation, holding their instruments like experts and in a picture-perfect ready-to-play stance.

Aaron stands in front of them all, with his microphone.

He taps it three times, and then they all start playing the teams rendition of, "Stairway to Heaven."

And they are wonderful. They are amazing. They are absolutely fantastic.

And then Pip's flute accidently bumps into Hans' back.

"Hey, watch it!" He says.

"Sorry." Pip answers, turning slightly to the left to avoid hitting him again.

He knocks Leo off his stool and he goes flying into Trevor, knocking him over.

Trevor's sax goes flying and hits Doug in the head, knocking him out cold.

Doug falls onto Jasper, who in turn falls onto Xenon.

Xenon's tamborine goes flying and smacks Manny in the side.

Yowling in pain, Manny throws his drumsticks into the air, hitting Aaron in the leg and again in the head.

All in all, every single member of The Boys collapses into a heap of instruments, people, and chairs.

And Mark, being the last one standing, sounds a single note on his triangle.

Chris and Chef stare at the fail of a song, and Chris starts clapping sarcastically.

"Wow. Just, wow. That was totally epic... NOT. You all fail. Very badly. I'll see you at elimination tonight. Don't be late, NOOBS."

Manny groans.

About an hour later, after the mess of a stage had been cleared up, Manny met Trevor and Aaron behind the boys' cabin.

"So... We're all clear on who we're outing?" Manny asks his friends.

"Yep."

"K, good. I guess... That's all. See you at the elimination." Manny walks off.

Aaron and Trevor look at each other.

"You know, Manny really freaks me out. He's nice and all, but sometimes he's just kind of wierd. You know what I'm saying, right?" Aaron asks Trevor.

Trevor nods. "Definantly." He agrees.

Meanwhile, Mark meets with Pip, Leo, and Xenon.

"Guys, this could be the only chance we have get to vote Manny out. There's four of us, that's majority of ten, right?" He asks them.

Xenon shakes his head.

"No, it-"

"Okay, good. Any questions?" Mark continues.

Pip raises his hand.

"Ya, um, me and Leo actually want to vote you out. What should we do?"

"Wait, what? Then why did you join us?"

"I dunno. Okay, well, see ya!"

Pip and Leo walk off, leaving Xenon and Mark alone and confused.

* * * *

After all members of The Boys have joined Chris at the campfire for the elimination, the host with the most stands in front of them, drawing out a plate of what seems to be marshmallows.

"Today, I have marshmallows for you guys. Get one, and you are safe." He says.

Pip cheers.

Chris shushes him.

"They're made of cardboard. Stupid." He says frustratedly.

Pip sighs.

"Let's see... The first fake marshmallow shall go to Aaron."

He tosses one to Aaron.

"And then Doug, Hans, Trevor, Jasper, Xenon, Leo, and Pip."

He throws them all marshmallows.

Chris looks down at Mark and Manny, who both sit nervously before him.

"And, the final mashmallow of the night goes to..."

He pauses dramatically.

Mark whimpers.

Manny yells at him. "Hurry it up, grandpa!"

Chris frowns at him.

"As I was saying, the final mashmallow of the night goes to...

Manny. Mark, you is out."

Manny grabs his marshmallow from Chris and eats it happily.

"Noob. Get out of here, noob. Noob. No-" He says to Mark.

Mark stands up abruptly, cutting Manny off. He walks up to him.

"Shut the #$@% up." He says coldly.

As Manny stares at him in shock, Chris points to the Path of Shame, which leads out of the campfire area and into the forest.

Mark gets his bag, and giving Manny the finger, he walks down the path, and out of everyone's sight.

The Boys are speechless, and so is Chris.

"Well... That was quite an exit. Find out which team will win and who will be out, next time, on Total Drama Campsite!"

Right before Chris signals for the ending credits to play, Alexi jumps in front of him.

"WAIT!" She cries.

"Alexi, what are you doing? Get out of my way!" Chris says angrily.

"I just got one thing to say," Alexi says hurriedly, "To all you readers who didn't get the short humorous story about the time I made oatmeal for breakfast at the beginning of the chapter, look at it again. And this time,"

Chris makes a tick-tock noise.

"Read it backwards."

Alexia winks at the cameras, and then Chris steps in front of her.

"See you next time on TDC!" He shouts.

The screen fades to black and the ending credits play.

Chapter 4- Jessica & Jessica
Jessica has always been a fiesty child.

For example, when her teacher gave her an F on her math test, a very complicated situation ensued.

"Wait. No, this can't be right." Jessica said, stunned.

"Well, yes. It is." Her teacher responded.

"No. No, it is definantly not." Jessica replied.

"Yes. Yes, it definantly is." Her teacher replied, getting frusterated.

"No. Hell no. HOLY @#$% IT IS NOT. GET OUT. GET OUT." Jessica replied.

"What was that?"

"Oh, YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THE @#$% THAT WAS, MISS. YOU WANT TO KNOW? YOU WANT TO GO?"

Her teacher stared at her.

"Excuse me, but you deserve that grade."

"EXCUSE ME, BUT I'M PUNCHING YOUR FACE!"

She then punched her teacher right in the forehead.

Never again has she gotten an F.

Jessica has always been a fiesty child.

* * * *

Chris greets the cameras happily in the dining cabin.

"Hello viewers, and welcome back to Total Drama Campsite! Last time, our campers had to construct a song and then perform it for Chef and I. The Girls rocked it, and The Boys kind of sucked it. In the end, Mark was voted out. Thank goodness, I don't think I could have taken any-" Chris pauses, looking up at the camera. "Uh... Ya. As I was saying, stay tuned for this episode of TDC!"

The Boys slowly get up and get dressed.

Manny yawns as he gets out of bed, and then smiles.

"Ah, it's so nice without Mark here. Don't you think?"

Trevor nods, and Aaron laughs.

Xenon sadly looks away.

Pip and Leo giggle.

Jasper eats some licorice, and Doug sleeps still.

Hans glares at him.

"You know, we still lost a team member. That's not a good thing." Hans says coldly.

Manny rolls his eyes.

"Ya, but it was Mark. I mean, come on! We would have thrown a challenge in a couple of days anyways, just to get him out."

"No, we wouldn't."

"Yes, we would."

As Hans and Manny frown at each other, Trevor intervenes.

"Come on, guys. Let's just do our best today. Okay? Forget what happened last night."

Pip and Leo start to laugh obsessively.

Hans looks at them.

"What, what is it?" He asks.

"Oh, sorry. Pip just told me a really funny joke about you, and I couldn't help but laugh." Leo replies, giggling.

"And what was that?" Hans asks, angrily.

"Oh, it doesn't matter." Pip says, laughing again.

Meanwhile, The Girls seem to be getting along better than before.

Jessica adresses everyone from the center of the room.

"C'mon guys, let's keep it up! The teams are even again, and if we win this time, we'll be ahead! Ya, woot!"

Sara cheers behind her.

Alissa frowns at them.

"No offense, Jessica... and Sara, too. How come you guys are so happy when we win, but then when we lose you guys get so angry and mean? Like... choose one or the other."

Jessica frowns.

"Shut up." She says.

Alissa shrugs.

"Um, guys?" Paula asks everyone.

All the girls look at her.

"Uh... Do any of you know where my sparkle socks are? I left them right here..." She says, pointing to her pillow case.

"Your what?"

"My sparkle socks. They keep me warm with the power of sparkle."

Jessica facepalms.

"Found them!" Molly cries, holding up a pair of dazzling purple socks.

"Thanks." Paula says, grabbing them. She puts them on, and starts to dance.

"God, those things are an eye sore." Sara says, looking away.

"Hey! If you don't like them, then... then don't look at 'em!" Paula says, dancing still.

Andrea smiles, and Alexi stares at them longily.

Jessica snaps her hair clip in menacingly.

"Grrr..." She says quietly.

After a couple more minutes of getting dressed, the campers meet Chris and Chef in front of the dining cabin.

"So, are you guys ready for today's challenge?" Chris asks.

"Yes. If we aren't, then WHY DID WE COME?" Jessica yells at him.

"Woah, somebody's grumpy today." Manny mumbles.

Jessica glares at him.

Doug snores.

Chris frowns at them all.

"Be quiet, fools," He says, "And listen to me. Anyways, today both teams will be working in the kitchen. Both The Boys and The Girls will have to prepare a three course meal for me, plus drinks."

Chef looks at him sadly.

"Oh, and Chef too. Ya... GET GOING!"

The contestans run into the building.

Chris walks up to Chef, and rubs his back.

"It's okay, it's okay, let it out, let it out."

Chef starts to cry.

"I know, I know..."

The teams have taken control of opposite ends of the kitchen.

Jessica leads her team.

"Okay, two people get on the appetizer, a couple of you follow Sara to get some ingredients, and then start on the main meal, and me and a whoever's left will get on the dessert. Understood?"

Everyone nods, and gets to work.

On The Boys' side, things are different.

"I want to do the app!"

"No, me. Stupid."

"I call drinks!"

"O. M. G. Me and Leo should totally do drinks, we can make my signature tequila smoothies!" Pip yells, exctatic.

His team turns to him.

"Did you just say tequila? How do you know how to make a tequila smoothie?" Trevor asks him.

Pip just grabs Leo and goes to get some ingredients.

Manny shrugs, and tells Aaron and Trevor to come and do the main meal with him.

Jessica walks around her team's side of the kitchen, making sure everyone is on track.

"That salad's looking very good, ladies. Ooh, yes, Sara, nice work on the spaghetti. More cheese. No, that's too much. Ah, there we go. Alissa, that's- Alissa!"

Jessica stares at Alissa, who is slapping Ginny on the back, and hard.

Jessica grabs Alissa and pulls her away from the in-pain-looking Ginny.

"Alissa, what the hell were you doing?" Jessica asks her.

"No, she's-" Alissa begins.

Sputtering, Ginny barfs eveywhere. All over the counters, all over the floor, and all over Jessica and Alissa.

Jessica gasps for air, shaking her hands back and forth.

"She was CHOKING!" Alissa shouts at her team mate.

"AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Jessica sceams, bolting out of the kitchen.

Andrea quietly goes to clean up the mess, while Alissa goes over to help Ginny recover.

The Boys are doing mighty fine.

Manny has taken charge, and their very meaty courses are smelling great.

"Nice work, dudes! Keep it up! Yup, yup, that's good! When in doubt, add more meat! I just sliced up a new sausage!"

Trevor raises his hand, and Manny tosses him a couple of slices, and he adds them to his dish.

Xenon, seeing Trevor, raises his hand also. Manny throws him some slices, and he misses them by about a yard, and they fly out the window.

"Nice catch, Xenon." Manny says sarcastically.

Xenon doesn't get it.

"Thanks, I'll try better next time!"

Manny shakes his head.

Jessica returns from her fit.

Alissa sees her return, and walks over to her.

"So, can we start the dessert now?"

Jessica looks over at The Boys, who seem to be doing very well. She sniffs the air, and knows that the guys' food is going to be much better than theirs.

Alissa stares at her.

"Well?"

"Uh... ya. You and Ginny start it. I'll be right back."

Alissa watches her as she runs out of the room again.

Sighing, she grabs a bowl and pours some flour in.

Meanwhile, Chris and Chef are in the girls' cabin.

Chef tries on Andrea's bra, and Chris is putting on Tatiana's make up.

"Oh, Chef darling, you look just fantastique!" Chris says in a girlish voice.

"Ohahahaha, why thank you, lovely!" Chef responds, in an even girlier voice.

Jessica burts into the room, and the three look at each other, in complete shock.

"Uh..." Chris says.

"Uh..." Chef says.

"OH MY GOD!" Jessica screams.

She grabs something out of her bag and runs away.

Chris and Chef look at each other.

"Give her 20 bucks tonight." Chris says quietly.

"Got it." Chef says quickly.

Back in the kitchen, The Boys are adding the final touches to their meals.

"A little touch of basil here, some oregano there, put more meat in that. Ya, that's the stuff." Manny says happily, looking over everything.

Hans frowns at him.

"You know, there is such a thing as too much meat." He says.

Aaron gasps.

Manny approaches a confused Hans.

"I don't know where you're from, but where I'm from, MEAT IS LIFE. Got it, rebel?"

Hans nods.

"Good. I don't want any vegetarians on our team."

Right then, Pip and Leo walk in, with some hawt looking drinks.

"We've got our-" Leo begins.

And then he sees the meat. And smells it. And tastes it in the air. And hears it, somehow, and even feels its presence.

"WHAT IS THIS?" He screams suddenly.

"Uh... It's our three course meal." Trevor responds.

"AND WHAT IS IT MADE OF?"

Hans smirks.

"Basically... Meat. And about 15 tons of it." He says snidely.

"@#$%" Leo replies.

He grabs an axe out of nowhere, and starts smashing the counters and food into little bits.

"Oh my, LEO! STOP!" Manny screams, while him and the other boys duck and run away from the crazed Leo.

"MEAT! HURTING ANIMALS! NO! STOOOP!" Leo screams madly, smashing the tables to bit and cracking the plates of food into little shards. He even swings at a few of his teammates a couple of times.

Tatiana hears a commotion on the other side of the room, and looks over.

"O mon dieu! Look!" She cries to her teammates.

As all the girls look over in shock, the entire other half of the kitchen literally collapses in on itself. Leo, with his axe, and all the other boys manage to jump out of the way to avoid being caught in the destruction.

Chris and Chef walk in on the scene, minus the makeup and bras.

"Holy- Okay, before I go COMPLETELY FREAKIN INSANE on all you kids, The Girls win, clearly. I don't even have to taste their food to know it's going to be better than this mess OF NOTHING." Chris says, gesturing to the mess.

"It's not nothing, it's something..." Xenon begins.

Chris shushes him.

"I'll see YOU at elimination." He says curtly to The Boys, and leaves.

Chef looks at the mess.

"I bet I have to clean this up. Ugh, and I'll probably break a nail while I'm at it. Hmph." He says, pouting in a very girly manner.

"O_o" Paula says.

Chef glares at her.

"HEY! No internet talk, save that for Cammy." He shouts.

Jessica watches as the losing team exits the kitchen.

She looks down at the bottle of poisin she was about to pour into their food.

"Guess I won't be needing this." She says, and non-chalantly throws it out the window.

A random intern, who earlier got hit by flying sausage slices, sees a bottle of poisin flying towards him. He ducks, it bounces off a tree behind him, and flies into the back of his head, knocking him out.

Paula, who had been looking at the window, is wierded out.

"O_"

"DON'T START!"

* * * *

Manny meets Aaron and Trevor in their usual spot, behind the guys' cabin.

"Tonight's a hard one..." Manny begins, and then stops himself.

"Wait. No it isn't! It was friken LEO'S fault." He says, correcting himself.

Aaron and Trevor nod.

"I think it's a no brainer. I mean, who takes out an axe and starts destroying our challenge?" Trevor asks no one in particular.

"Ya, and where'd he even get the axe from?" Aaron continues.

The three boys turn to see Jasper walking past, biting some licorice. He nods to them as he passes by.

They look at each other.

Pip akwardly meets Leo underneath a tree.

"Uh..." Pip begins, but for once, he doesn't have anything to say.

"Okay, I know I messed up, big time. But who would do that? So much meat... I've been a vegetarian since I was 4, and I don't know why, but something inside of me snapped. Like... Why love one, but eat the other?" Leo says sadly, holding up a picture of a kitten in one hand and a chick in the other.

Pip shrugs.

"Dunno. So... Who are we voting for?"

Leo looks surprised.

"You are still voting with me?"

Pip smiles.

"Of course, I mean, that was pretty funny, back when we got drunk on those tequila smoothies!" Pip starts laughing.

Leo does too. "Ya, we didn't even add any smoothie yet!" He says.

Suddenly, and image of Chris appears.

"We would just like to inform you that Total Drama does not support underage drinking and would like to advise you against it. Thank you." He says.

He disappears, and Leo and Pip are shown laughing again.

* * * *

After all of the boys have voted and met at the campfire for the elimination, Chris walks up to stand before them all.

He holds out a plate of pebbles.

Manny facepalms. "You have got to be kidding me." He says.

"Hush, Manny," Chris replies, "Don't make it worse than it already is."

Manny rolls his eyes.

"Okay, so, if you get a pebble, you are safe. Oh, you all know the drill." Chris says boredly, "Just don't try to eat them, okay?"

Pip raises his hand.

"Yes, Pip?" Chris asks.

"Are you sure-"

"Yes. I am positive. Do NOT eat the pebbles." Chris says.

Pip takes out a notepad and writes in, "Do not eat pebbles."

Chris rolls his eyes, and continues.

"The pebbles go to... Trevor, Jasper, Doug, Aaron, Manny, Hans, and Pip."

He tosses them their pebbles.

Nobody catches them.

"Failures." Chris mumbles.

He looks down at Leo and Xenon.

Leo holds his paws tightly together.

Xenon shivers, terrified.

"And, the last pebble of the night," Chris says dramatically, "Goes to...

Xenon. Leo, you are eliminated."

Leo gets up, crying, and grabs his bag.

Pip runs over to hug him, as Xenon cheers.

"Rawr rawr, rawr ra awr rawr." Pip says warmly.

"Awr awr rawr." Leo says, stopping his crying.

Chis looks puzzled.

"Did anyone else understand what they just said?" He asks the others, who all shake their heads.

"It's Lionese. Leo can talk to animals, and he taught me that." Pip says cheerfully.

Leo walks up to the Path of Shame.

"Bye guys!" He calls.

Hans glares at him.

"Just leave already!" He calls.

Leo burts out into laughter as he walks away.

"Pip was right, you do look like a dog's butt when you're angry! Ahahahaha!"

Hans looks shocked and appalled.

Chris, laughing, signs off.

"So, that's it for this episode of Total Drama Campsite. See you next time!" He shouts happily.

The screen fades to black and the ending credits play.

Chapter 5- Stop & Spell the Roses
It was time for Ginny to go big or go home.

Catiously, she stepped up onto the dueling platform, and turned to face her enemy.

Alicia Vandertramp, of Slytherin.

Turning back to her fellow Gryfindors behind her, she let out a nervous breath.

Her best friend, Jasmine, smiled up at her.

"Ginny. Listen to me." Jasmine said, talking over the roar of the cheering crowd.

Ginny nodded, anxiously.

"You are brave, and strong, and beautiful. Just because Alicia is mean, doesn't mean she's a good deuler. And besides, you're the best person I know at this kind of stuff. Now turn around and win this thing!"

"I... I will. For us. For Gryffindor." Ginny said, becoming proud, and turning around to face the menacing Alicia.

Sensing Ginny's fear, Alicia began to taunt her, and get her supporters to cheer even louder.

"Whatcha gonna do, Weasley? Think you can beat me?" Alicia said, flicking her wand back and forth.

"Of course I can, Vandertramp. Now let's get this on!" Ginny replied, growling back at her.

Professor Snape, stepping up onto the platform, gestured for them to stand on either side of him.

They did, frowning at each other.

He raised his hand, reciting the rules, and then he threw it down, signaling the beginning of the duel.

Ginny immediatly shouted, "Protego!"

Alicia's weak curse easily bounced off of Ginny's shield.

Grimacing, Alicia sent a ball of fire at Ginny.

Ginny dodged it, and sent back a sheet of ice.

It just managed to hit Alicia in the leg, stunning her.

Ginny ran forward and screamed, "Impendamentus!"

Alicia froze in place, unable to move.

Ginny walked up to her, smiling, and pointed her wand right at her forehead.

Alicia, unable to even say anything, stood there.

"Stupify."

Alicia went unconcious.

As the Gryfindor side of the dueling room burst into applause, and the Slytherins shouted some very harsh words, Ginny just smiled.

For she had just won her first duel.

* * * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Campsite," Chris says enthusiastically, "Last time, the contestants had to make Chef and I a three course meal. It was pretty close, but in the end, The Girls won, probably because Leo went physco and destroyed the whole kitchen with an axe... Anyways, stay tuned for this episode!"

Chef is shown crying in his destroyed kitchen, as he cleans it up.

Andrea walks into the room, and begins helping him scrub the walls.

"Watcha doin', girl?" Chris asks her.

"Helping," Andrea says, "Because you don't deserve to clean up a mess you didn't make."

Chef smiles at her, and she smiles back.

Chris looks in on them through the window.

"Eww, there's a love fest going on in there." Chris says, disgusted.

Jessica walks up to him.

"You know what else is disgusting? What you and Chef were doing in the girls' cabin yest-" Jessica begins, but Chris covers her mouth with his hand.

"We gave you those 20 bucks for a reason." Chris says to her.

"Hmm... I don't seem to recall getting any money from you at all, actually. Maybe you should just give me another twenty. Just to be sure." Jessica says, coldly.

Chris glares at her and takes out his wallet.

Meanwhile, Pip jumps up to them both.

"LOVE FEST? Oh my good gracious, I WANT IN!" He screams happily.

Chris points to the left.

"Door's over there."

Chris and Jessica watch as Pip runs into the building, humming, "Skip to my loo."

Jessica looks at Chris, expecting him to say something funny.

Chris shrugs.

"It's so regular now, I've got nothing to say about it anymore." He says.

Jessica rolls her eyes.

Meanwhile, in the girls' cabin, the others are getting ready for the day.

Alexi is bugging Alissa to play a hand-game with her.

"Ah, come on sis, please!" Alexi asks pleadingly.

"Ugh. Fine, but only once." Alissa says flatly, finally excepting.

"Oh, yay! Okay, just follow my lead." Alexia says, grinning.

"Winston, smells just like a-a, coconut just like a, oh, ah, I wanna piece of pie. Pie too sweet, I wanna piece of meat. Meat too tough, I wanna ride a bus. Bus to full, I wanna ride a bull. Bull to black, I want my money back. Money back to free, I wanna jelly bean. Jelly bean not cooked, I wanna read a book. Book not read, I wanna go to bed. Bed not made, I want some lemonade. Lemonade too sour, we got the power, to close our eyes and count to ten, and whoever messes up starts over again! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! We didn't mess up so that is the end!" Alexi sings.

The other girls in the cabin, including her sister, stare at her.

"Okay, I'm sorry to say it, but that made no sense whatsoever." Paula says.

"Ya, um, like, how can getting money back for something be too free?" Molly asks.

"And who would want their jelly bean cooked? That's disgusting!" Sara remarks.

"Who is this Winston coconut man?" Tatiana questions.

"Guys," Alexi says, "It's a hand-game. It's not supposed to make sense."

"Oh, sure," Jessica says snidely as she walks in the door, "But the hand-games they play at my school are much more sophisticated. I make sure of it."

Alissa rolls her eyes.

"Oh Jessica, you're so full of it. Just stop crapping on my sister, will you?"

"OH, EXCUSE ME. WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TAKE A BIG STEAMING CRAP ON YOU ALSO?" Jessica screams unexpectedly.

Alissa looks at her.

"Uh, no. No thanks. Why don't you save the big steaming crap for your girlfriend, Sara? You two could totally have a sexual experience with that nice piece of feces." Alissa says quickly, and then runs out the door with Alexi, both of them laughing their head off.

Jessica gets so red she looks like a volcano.

The other girls, excluding Sara, back away slowly.

In the guys' cabin, an excrutiatingly loud cry is heard.

Manny rolls his eyes.

"There's those girls, at it again." He says.

"Does it ever end over there?" Aaron questions.

"Ya, it never seems to stop. Well, I guess we should go over there and help them." Trevor says, laughing.

"Are you kidding me? They'll probably give us cooties or something!" Xenon shouts.

"Dude. If any of us here have cooties, it's you. So unless you want to infect the entire population, SHUT UP." Manny says to him.

Xenon leaves the cabin sadly.

Aaron and Trevor give each other a look.

Jasper and Doug leave the cabin also.

"Oh, dudes, we'll just be a minute. Going to have some licorice over in the woods. Join us if ya'll like too." Doug says sleepily as they leave.

Hans looks at the other guys.

"Uh... I think that's the first thing I've ever heard him say anything. Ever." He says, creeped out.

"Ya... Wait, what are they going to do?" Trevor asks.

Manny gags.

A couple of minutes later, everyone has met Chris in front of the cabins.

"Okay guys, it's time for your... fifth challenge." Chris says.

"Sorry, but actually Chris, it's the fourth. The first day we were here, we didn't have a challenge." Andrea says.

Chris frowns at Andrea.

"Thanks." He says, obviously not thankful at all.

Andrea looks sad, but Molly walks over to her and she cheers up.

"Anyways, as I was saying," Chris continues, "Was that the challenge today is a simple spelling bee. Everyone on each team will go once, attempting to spell a very complicted word. For every team member who gets it right, they'll score a point. Team with the most points wins. Got it?"

The campers nod.

"Okay, let's start right now." Chris says happily, whipping out some cue cards.

"Wait, don't we have to go to, like, some special arena or something?" Sara questions.

"Fine. Whatever you say." Chris replies sarcastically.

The challenge starts again, this time with Chris sitting at the judges' podium in front of the ampitheatre.

There is a single microphone sitting on the stage. The campers are all lined up in their seperate teams, just behind the curtain.

Chris is wearing a Simon Cowell outfit, and is sipping from a Starbucks mug.

"Ah, yes, yes, bring on our first competitor." He says in a British accent, waving for the first camper to come onto the stage.

Jessica walks up to the mic.

"Ah, okay, what's your name sweetheart?" He asks her.

Jessica frowns.

"I don't know who you are, but when I see Chris next, he's going to get a serious beating." She says.

Chris drops the act.

"Fine, fine, but if people complain, it's your fault." He says frusteratedly.

"As if the would..."

"Shut it. Spell, constipated."

Jessica looks shocked.

"Are you for real? And it's c-o-n-s-t-i-p-a-t-e-d." She says.

"Good, one point for The Girls. NEXT!" Chris screams, ignoring Jessica's earlier comment.

Doug walks up to the mic.

"Spell, discombobulated."

"ZZZZZZZZ.... d-i-s-c-o-m-b-o-b-u-l-a-t-e-d ... ZZZZZZZ." Doug says.

"O_o... NEXT!" Chris shouts, confused and hurt inside.

Trevor, Andrea, Sara, and Jasper all go, each of them getting their answers right.

Chris seems bored.

Alexi, Molly, Aaron, and Xenon all go, each of them getting their answers wrong.

Chris seems amused.

Hans is next.

"Spell, you suck." Chris says smartly.

"Sure," Hans replies, "Y-o-u-space-s-u-c-k. Oh, and might I add, you stink too!" Hans says, laughing.

Chris frowns, and gestures for the next person to come.

"That really didn't work the way I wanted it too." He whispers sadly.

Alissa walks up to the mic.

"Spell, boat. Wait, what?" Chris says, reading the card.

"Okay, b-o-a-t. Thanks for the easy one, Chris!" Alissa says happily, saluting him and walking off the stage.

Chris facepalms.

"Chef, I swear to- NEXT!"

Pip walks onto the stage.

"Spell, hyperactive."

"S-U-G-A-R!" Pip shouts.

Chris facepalms.

"NEXT!" He calls.

Paula comes on next.

"Spell, national anthem."

"Easy, like from Party Rock Anthem. N-a-t-i-o-n-a-l-space-a-n-t-h-e-m." Paula says happily.

Manny walks up to the mic.

"Spell, chicken." Chris says, and then facepalms yet again. "If you don't get this..." He begins.

"Relax, dude-man. It's c-h-i-c-k-e-n." Manny says calmly.

Chris smiles.

"Thank goodness, I thought you'd fail." He says.

"And why was that?" Manny asks, getting angry.

"Uh... NEXT!" Chris shouts.

Tatiana comes up to the mic.

"Come on Tatiana, these questions seem to get easier and easier. Spell, house."

Tatiana stares at him, only knowing the french spelling of the word.

"Uh... m-"

"NEXT!" Chris shouts.

As Ginny walks onto the stage, Chris turns to the camera.

"The teams are tied. To make this interesting, if GInny gets it right, The Girls win for the third time in a row. If she gets it wrong, well, that`s bad news for her. Guys would win in that situation. Anyways..." He says, turning back to Ginny, "Time for your word."

Ginny looks at him, terrified.

I don't know how to spell, she thinks.

"Spell, massachusetts." Chris says to her.

Ginny looks at him blankly.

I don't know how to spell, she thinks again.

"Well?" Chris questions her, getting impatient.

But... But I do know how to "spell", she thinks. Maybe that will count?

"REDUCTO! IMPERIUS! AVADA KADAVRA! CRUCIO! IMPENDAMENTUS! TARANTELLEGRA! ACCIO! RICTUMSEMPRA! PETRIFICUS TOTALUS! EXPELIARMUS! SECTUMSEMPRA! C-" Ginny screams, whipping at her wand at facing it at Chris.

Chris stands up, waving his hands for her to stop.

"GINNY, GINNY! NO! NO! THAT IS NOT HOW YOU SPELL MASSACHUSETTS! IT ISN'T! GIRLS LOSE, GUYS WIN! HA!" Chris yells at her.

Ginny looks down at her feet sadly.

The other girls behind the curtain complain and swear.

All of the guys cheer and congratulate Ginny on her epic fail.

"FAIL." Manny yells.

"AVADA KADAVRA!" Ginny shouts at him.

"O_o" Manny says, and he walks off with Aaron and Trevor.

Later, after everyone has cleared out of the ampitheatre area, the campers are lounging around outside of the cabins.

Jessica meets Sara briefly behind the girls' cabin, and they decide who to eliminate easily.

Andrea, Molly, and Paula have a tougher time deciding.

"Okay, I know that Jessica is really mean, but Ginny was COMPLETELY ridiculous in the challenge." Paula says, while dancing COMPLETELY ridiculously to her iPod.

"I don't care. Well, Ginny didn't do good, but Jessica makes us all feel terrible." Molly responds, feeling terrible because of Jessica.

"Darn... This is a hard one, I think we can agree on that." Andrea says, trying to pick a side.

Eventually, she whispers something to them, and they all nod.

Ginny goes up to Alexi and Alissa, and tells them to vote out Jessica.

"Guys. She's worse then Malfoy, Snape, and The Dark Lord all mixed together." Ginny tells them, shivering while she says the last name.

"Uh... Ya, but you sucked the challenge. Sorry." Alissa says, turning away from her.

"But... But... SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOUR HAND-GAMES!" Ginny cries, trying to get their attention.

Alexi turns back to her.

"SHE DOESN'T LIKE WINSTON?" Alexi gasps.

"No, no she doesn't." Ginny responds.

Alexi turns to Alissa, and because they are twins, they share a semi-telepathic thought.

Both of them nod.

Ginny looks freaked out and backs away from them.

"Uh... See you guys at the elimination later." She says, disturbingly.

* * * *

Chris stands before the nine girls, who all sit in the semi-circle of treestumps, at the elimination site. He holds up a metal plate... of candy corns.

Alexi cheers.

"Yay!" She cries happily.

Alissa smirks.

"Actual food or once." She says.

Chris rolls his eyes.

"Ya, sure. It's all toxic, anyways. Halloween candy, that is."

Jessica frowns at him.

"Get on with it!" She calls, angrily.

Chris frowns back at her.

"Fine. Just because you said it like that, the candy corns go to... Andrea, Alexi, Alissa, Molly, and Sara."

He tosses them their candy.

"And... Tatiana. Also... Paula."

He throws them their corns.

He looks down at Jessica and Ginny, who both are in the bottom two.

"The final marsh- I mean candy corn, sorry, force of habit, goes to..." Chris begins.

Ginny takes out her wand, and fiddles with it nervously.

Jessica glares at Chris, and gives him the finger.

"Ginny."

Jessica stands up, her mouth open in shock.

"@#$%" She says.

Ginny stands up also, and cheers.

"Gryffindor for the win!" She shouts.

Sara gets up and pulls Jessica back onto her seat before she can run up to Chris and punch him.

"Wait, no, that can't be right. Give me that." Sara says, grabbing Chris's cue card, which has the name of the eliminated person on it.

She looks at it for a second, and gives it back to Chris.

"What the crap, man! It says friken G-I-N-N-Y." Sara says angrily, and Jessica lets out a sigh of relief.

Chris looks at it, and frowns.

"Darn, I guess I wanted Jessica to be out so bad that my mind tricked me." He says, pondering the thought.

Jessica rolls her eyes frusteratedly.

"Am I in or not?" She asks angrily.

"Yes. Sorry Ginny," Chris says sadly, "But you is out."

Ginny shrugs, grabs her stuff, and walks up to the Path of Shame.

"Bye guys. It was fun, but I've got to get back to Hogwarts now. My friends probably miss me, and I'm way behind in my studies. See ya!" She says, and then she turns and walks down the Path.

Andrea, Molly, and Paula wave to her as she leaves, and Ginny, seeing this, gives them a quick flick of her wand happily.

Sparks fly off the end of it, and set a nearby bush on fire.

The three girls stop waving.

"O_o" Says everyone.

"Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeen!" Ginny calls, as she hops onto her broomstick and flies away into the night.

Chris watches her as she goes.

"Well, that was one wacked out entrance! Come back next week for more laughs, drama, and uber wierdness! On... TOTAL DRAMA CAMPSITE!" Chris screams at the cameras akwardly, still wierded out by Ginny's exit.

The screen fades to black and the ending credits play.

Chapter 6- Beat, Cheat, & Trick-or-Treat
Hearts fly through the sky.

Flowers that smell like pure happiness grow up from the sweet-smelling ground and never die.

And there is sugar.

Everywhere.

Animals of pure imagination swim in the lakes of coffee, and bid you, "Hello," and, "Good day."

And alone on a luxurious mountain, that glows with pure joy and energy, sits a beautiful mansion.

It's so big that you can't see the end of it. There are swimming pools everywhere in the yard. And its a bright neon pink that stings your eyes when you look at it for too long.

Where are we?

Pip's mind.

And in this case, he's totally hyped out on sugar.

* * * *

Chris greets the cameras happily as he always does, although this time he's in a vampire costume.

"Velcome back to Total Drama Campsite!" He says, in a vampiric accent, "Last time, the campers had to partake in a classic spelling bee. The Boys won in the end, and Ginny was sent home for totally failing, making the teams even once again. Find out who's going to be eliminated this time on Total Drama Campsite!"

Tatiana brushes her hair in the outhouse.

Paula walks in, and begins to spray some "BIG FAT HAIR SPRAY, 0 calories" into her poofy hair.

Tatiana coughs as she sprays in the semi-toxic stuff.

"What, you got a problem with my hair?" Paula asks her, annoyed, because she truly loves her hair.

"Uh... Non, non." Tatiana responds.

"Ah... I see," Paula says kindly, "You're jealous, aren't you!"

Tatiana shakes her head rapidly.

"Well, here you go!"

Paula sprays some of the hairspray into Tatiana's beautiful hair.

She falls unconscious onto the ground.

"Oops..." Paula says quietly, and she slowly backs out of the outhouse, leaving Tatiana on the floor.

On the boys' side of the outhouse, Jasper and Pip are brushing their teeth.

Jasper brushes his with a piece of licorice, and Pip brushes his with some sugar on a toothbrush.

They see each other doing this, and nod approvingly at each other.

Manny walks in to take a dump.

He turns to the other two, who are unaware of what he is about to do.

"Uh, guys, I don't know if you care, but I'm about to take a HUGE crap in the stall, and it might smell reeeally bad. So... Just a warning." Manny says to them, and walks into the stall.

Jasper and Pip look at each other.

Both of them run out of there as fast as they can.

Meanwhile, in the girls' cabin, Jessica just happens to be picking on Molly again.

"Look, I told you, DO NOT TOUCH MY STUFF." Jessica screams at the terrified girl.

"You- You- You dropped it, and I picked it up for-" Molly responds.

"SHUT IT."

"Okay."

Andrea walks in to see the commotion.

"Hey, Jessica, why are you picking on Molly again?" Andrea asks her, walking to Molly's side, "I'm sure she didn't mean to do anything wrong."

"Hey, Andrea, just getting involved with something you should keep your nose out of before it does involve you?" Sara responds to her, going to stand beside Jessica.

Andrea frowns at Sara.

Sara frowns at Molly.

Molly looks fearfully at Jessica.

Jessica glares evilly at both Molly and Andrea.

Alexi approaches all of them.

"Look, guys, why can't we all just play a hand-game or something? I know a really good one-"

"NO!" Both Jessica and Sara scream at the same time.

"Uh... Alright, I'll let you four get back to your argument..." Alexi says akwardly, trying to turn around and leave, but Alissa sees what just happened and walks up to the five others.

"Hey, you can't talk to my sister like that!" Alissa says sternly to Jessica and Sara.

"And why the heck not?" Jessica says angrily.

"Because then I'LL DO THIS!" Alissa screams, jumping onto Jessica.

She punches her in the face a couple of times, giving her a black eye, before Andrea and Sara can pull her off again.

As Alexi holds Alissa back as they get up, Sara holds Jessica back, and Andrea stands between them, the two girls who just fought glare menacingly at one another.

"Okay, guys, that's enough. Stop it. We're all team mates, and we should get along like-" Andrea begins.

Jessica cuts her off.

"Let's get out of here, Sara. These #$%@ are too @#$% for us." She says.

Sara and Jessica leave quietly.

Alissa and Alexi leave, a couple of minutes later.

Andrea and Molly sit down on a bed, tiredly.

"Phew, it's some hard work keeping this team together." Andrea says to Molly.

Molly looks at her innocently.

"In my opinion, I thought it was pretty awesome." She says.

The Boys and The Girls meet before Chris, in front of the cabins.

"So... How was your mornings?" Chris asks them all, still wearing his costume but not speaking in an accent.

Most of the girls just glare at each other. Some of the guys say good. Nobody really says anything.

"Well... Nice bunch we've got here. Anyways, today's challenge is Halloween themed. I-" Chris continues.

Pip cuts him off.

"I GET IT!" He screams, referring to the costume.

Chris rolls his eyes.

"Yes, very good." He says, and continues once again. "Anyways, I've set up a whole block of houses for each team to go to. Each team will do one side of the street, racing to the end. First team to finish wins. Oh, you all have to be in costumes, and you have to get one piece of candy from each house at least, or else it doesn't count. Kapeesh?"

"What does kapeesh mean?" Xenon asks.

"Oh, I don't know. Your mom." Chris says frusteratedly.

Xenon smiles.

"I love kapeesh! Kapeesh makes lasgangna for me! Anyone would agree that kapeesh holds the best slumber parties, and I love sleeping with kapeesh!" He says.

Everyone stares at him.

"WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR MOM?" Hans screams at Xenon, completely shocked.

"It just slipped out! I-" Xenon begins.

Chris shudders.

"Uhuhuhuh. I don't want to know. Why doesn't everyone just get into their costumes, and then I'll take you all over to the block." Chris says, disturbed.

As they all disperse, he notices Jessica's black eye.

"Woah, Jessica, what-?"

"Say one more word, and I will personally kill you." Jessica says harshly to him, leaving with Sara.

"Jeez, just making conversation." Chris says quietly after she's left.

About an hour later, after everyone has gotten into their costumes and Chris took them on a short ride to the block all decorated for the holiday, Chris gives the teams sides and tells them to get ready to begin, when he says go.

"Is everyone costume?" He asks, making sure.

"Yes." Everyone replies flatly.

Alissa smirks as she sees that Jessica is wearing bgi fake glasses to cover her black eye.

"Ah, I see you're the beast of the ball." Alissa says snidely to Jessica.

"Shut up, stupid, or I'll do things to you while you're sleeping." Jessica says to her, viciously.

"Oh, be quiet. You may have the rest of the team fooled, and little Sara in your backpocket, but I'm not stupid. And I'm sure as hell not scared of you, Jessica." Alissa replies to her, coldly.

Jessica doesn't respond.

On the guys side, Aaron, Trevor, and Manny are comparing costumes.

As Trevor shows them his cowboy hat, they all turn when they hear Doug give out a ear-splitting snore.

"How does he live like that?" Aaron asks, watching Doug half-asleep, leaning against a lamp-post.

"Dunno. Must be terrible." Manny agrees, and Trevor nods his head.

Chris gets everyone's attention.

"Ready? Set? ... GO!" He shouts, and they all run to their first houses.

The door opens for The Girls and a man comes out.

"Here you go, girlies." He says in a slightly perverted manner, giving them all candy.

"Uh... Thanks, sir." Alexi says akwardly, and they all run to the next house.

At the first house for The Boys, no one seems to be home.

"Well, what do we do?" Trevor asks his team mates, "It's not like we can break in or-"

Manny jumps out of the houses's front window, holding a bag of stolen candy.

"Let's go!" He shouts, and they run to the next house, Trevor creeped out.

The next couple of houses are uneventful. The teams fly by, The Girls a little bit ahead.

Then, the leading team comes upon a quant looking house with about a million garden gnomes in the front yard.

"This is going to be the easiest house yet!" Paula says happily as they run up to the door.

The Boys says the same thing as they run up to a nice looking house with some kids' toys in the front yard.

"Must be some little kid handing out candy at the door." Hans says happily.

When The Girls reach the door, it opens, and a little old lady comes out.

"Oh, hello there! What fantastic costumes you have!" The old lady says, holding a bag of candy for them.

"Thanks!" Most of the girls say, happy that they got another easy house.

"Why, you must be a cat!" The lady says to Alissa.

"Yes!" Alissa replies.

"And you must be a flower!" She says to Andrea.

"Yes, I am!" Andrea replies.

"And you must be a-"

For The Boys, a little girl, who looks to be about 2 years old, answers the door.

"Well, hi there!" Trevor says kindly to the girl, "Would you mind getting us some candy?"

She stares blankly up at him, sucking her thumb.

The Girls are getting bored and impatient with the old lady.

"And you must be a.... a..... a....." She says, pointing at Tatiana, who is obviously a Greek goddess.

"A.... A...."

All of the girls stare at her, waiting.

"A......"

"Oh for the love of-" Sara starts.

"A Greek goddess!" The old lady says, getting it.

"Oui, oui!" Tatiana says happily.

The old lady turns to the next person, Sara.

"And you must be a-"

Jessica facepalms, and then winces, because she hit her hurt eye.

Manny stares right at the girl, standing in front of her.

"Candy. You know, that yummy stuff that mommy doesn't let you have? Candy. Oh, please, come on little girl, we're in a challenge here! Oh, for pete's sake-" Manny says, getting frusterated, as the girl sits in front of him, unresponsive.

Trevor pats his back.

"Calm down Manny, here, let Aaron try again." Trevor says.

Aaron replaces Manny, bending down in front of the girl.

"Hi there. Can you please get us some candy? We'd really like some candy right about now-"

The Girls are hanging on the little old lady's every word.

She's on the last member of their team, Paula, who is Lady Gaga.

"Oh god, she'll never know this!" Alissa says unhappily.

The lady points at her.

"You... You... You... You're Ann Darrow!" She says, happily.

"Uh..." All the girls look at each other, not knowing what to say.

"Yes! Yes! She's Ann Day- Dow- Ann! You're right!" Sara lies, and the other girls join in.

"I knew it!" The old lady says, proud of herself.

All the girls hold out their bags for her to put candy in.

The little old lady places a single candy in Sara's bag, and then about five minutes later, one into Alissa's bag.

Sara and Alissa start to leave, but the lady stops them.

"Hold on now, you can't leave 'till everyone's got some..." The lady says.

It's Pip's turn to attempt to get a response from the little girl.

"Hello? Little girl? SAY SOMETHING. CANDY. CA-AND-DY. C-A-N-D-Y. CANDY!" Pip screams at her.

She starts to cry.

Manny slaps Pip on the back.

"Look what you did! Now we're never going to get any-"

The girl's mother comes to the door, and picks her up.

"Phew, finally, we'll get some candy!" Xenon says happily.

"Are you kidding me? You hoolagins made my little Suzy cry! Get out of here before I call the police!" The mother says, and she slams the door on them.

The Boys look at each other.

"What do we do now?" Jasper asks, while chewing on a piece of licorice.

Manny slaps Pip on the back again.

"Stupid, stupid, STUPID!" He cries.

Chris and Chef wait patiently at the end of the block.

Chris looks at his watch.

"Where are those kids? It's been, like, five hours!" He says exasperatedly.

"Relax, Chris, have patience." Chef says calmly, meditating.

Chris looks at him oddly.

"And since when have you been such a peace guru?" He asks him.

"Since I started taking fung shui classes. It's really helped with my inner peace and anger management issues." Chef responds, not taking notice to Chris's annoyed tone of voice.

Chris rolls his eyes, and turns back to look at the line of houses, and sees a group of kids running towards them.

"Finally, one team is done. But which one is it?" He asks, looking to see.

The Girls run up to them.

"You guys win, and the real guys lose. I'll see them at elimination, when they get back here..." Chris says, and he gestures for Chef to take The Girls back to camp.

Eventually, The Boys show up and Chris takes them back to camp.

"Such fails, such fails." He mutters at them.

"Oh, be quiet." Manny says to Chris, angrily.

"I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I?" Chris responds.

"A MOTHER@#$%^&." Manny shouts at him.

"O_o" Chris says, and stays quiet for the rest of the trip back to camp.

* * * *

Once the guys are all back at camp, Manny meets Trevor and Aaron behind the cabins again.

"Okay, nobody really sucked that bad in the challenge today, so who do we out?" Manny asks them.

"Well, there's always Xenon..." Aaron says.

"Ya, but Pip is kind of wierd too. And now he's kind of even wierder, because Leo's gone." Trevor adds.

Manny nods.

"Okay, although I don't really like this idea, this is what we're going to do." He says, and leans in to whisper to his friends.

Xenon meets with Pip in a tree.

"Uh... Why are we in a tree?" Xenon asks Pip.

"I dunno. Fresh air, I guess." Pip says, and then looses his balance, falls, and gets knocked unconscious.

"O_o" Xenon says, and he akwardly climbs down the tree and leaves.

* * * *

At the elimination, Chris stands before the eight guys, and holds up his traditional metal plate. On it are seven metal balls.

"Chris, what are those?" Trevor asks him.

"Metal balls." Chris responds flatly.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. Now shut up before I throw one down your throat."

Trevor shuts up, because he doesn't want to die.

"Now, the balls go to... Trevor, Aaron, Manny, Hans, Jasper, and... Doug."

He tosses them all their metal balls, which bounce onto them and hurt them.

"Ouch, what the heck are these?" Hans complains.

"I already explained that, Hans." Chris says, rolling his eyes.

"ZZZZZ." Doug says.

Chris looks down at the bottom two, Xenon and Pip.

Xenon shakes, terrified.

Pip is still groggy from his fall, but he is scared too.

"And the final metal ball of the night goes to...........

Xenon. Pip, you have been eliminated from Total Drama Campsite."

Pip looks sadly down at the ground, and gets up.

Xenon stands up akwardly to cheer, but then falls down.

Pip helps him up, and hugs him.

"I'll miss you, friend." They both say.

Manny gags.

Pip turns to Manny, and hugs him too.

"O_o" Manny says.

"I'll miss you too." Pip says.

Over the next five minutes, he goes and hugs everyone on his team, and after hugging Chris, he walks down the Path of Shame.

"Bye guys! ILY!" Pip says happily.

Chris looks at the cameras, an odd expression on his face.

"Well then, that was a semi-interesting elimination. Hopefully, we'll see you next time on Total Drama Campsite!" Chris signs off.

The screen fades to black and the ending credits play.

Chapter 7- All Clear To Cheer, Red Deer
Chris greets the cameras with a frown on his face.

"Hello there, viewers. It seems today that we are missing our humorous intro thingy, which is usually provided to us by our interns..." Chris says, glaring off to the side, "For some reason they don't seem to have one ready, so apparently, I have to improvise for them. Let's see..." He continues, and then suddenly a stage curtain falls in front of him.

When the curtain rises, Chris is sitting on a comfy sofa, and Chef is in a maid costume, holding a tray with tea and cookies.

"Chefipoo, would you please pass me some crumpets?" Chris asks, in a British accent, to the disgruntled kitchen-worker.

Chef glares at him, and picks up a cookie. He crumples it in his hand, and throws the dust at Chris.

"Ya, I'm done. You can take your crumpets and shove them up your-" Chef says, walking off and ripping his maid costume into shreds.

Chris looks awkwardly at the camera, and gets up.

"If it was really as bad as I think it was, you can blame our interns. Anyways, stay tuned for the real episode soon." He says, dusting the cookie off his shirt and rolling his eyes.

He takes a bite of one of the un-crumpled cookies, and gags.

"Chef, what the @#$% did you put in these?" He yells angrily.

"I wouldn't know, I think Zoey made them before she left!" Chef yells back at him.

Chris turns green, and faints.

Chef comes back, laughing at Chris' misfortune.

"Now that's funny." He says happily.

* * * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Campsite," Chris says, "Last time on the show, we had a halloween-themed trick-or-treat challenge, in which The Boys lost. In the end, they voted out the insanely enthusiastic Pip. Find out who will be eliminated this time on Total Drama Campsite!"

In the girls' cabin, everyone is slowly getting up, tired from the last challenge.

"Ugh. I can't even open my eyes, I'm so tired." Sara says, getting dressed with her eyes closed.

Accidently, she puts all her clothes on backwards.

"Uh, Sara. I don't know if it's the new thing or something, but all your clothes are seriously messed up." Alissa remarks.

Sara frowns in the direction her voice came from, and opens her eyes.

"No, it isn't, and it doesn't help if you comment." She says snidely.

Alissa rolls her eyes.

"Okay then. Next time you are about to look totally stupid in front of the entire viewing world, I won't give you a break." She says.

Sara sticks her tongue at Alissa, who leaves with Alexi.

Alexi talks to her sister as the walk away from the cabin.

"Uh, Lex, wasn't that a little mean?" She asks.

"No, it wasn't. Well, it was. No. You don't get it, do you?" Alissa responds.

Alexi shakes her head.

"Okay, listen," Alissa tries again, "If someone is mean to you, you can be mean to them. Sara, and Jessica for that matter, are mean to everyone. Therefore, they barely notice it at all if you are mean back at them. Get it now?"

Alexi nods.

"Ya, I think so." She says quietly.

"Good. Don't ever trust someone who isn't worth trusting." Alissa finishes.

In the guys' cabin, Manny yawns and stretches in his bunk.

"It's so nice not to wake up with someone chattering in your ear, isn't it? With Pip gone, and Mark too, it's like our team just keeps on getting better and better! Heck, we should lose more often!" He says happily.

Hans rolls his eyes.

"Uh, no. We should win more often, because whenever we catch up to the girls in numbers, we just fail again. Stupid." He remarks.

Manny frowns at him, and get dressed.

The other boys all get up also, and begin getting dressed, except for Doug. He lies in his bed, not moving an inch.

"Woah, is he even breathing?" Trevor asks, poking Doug's immobile chest.

He lets out a huge snore suddenly, and then is quiet again.

Jasper steps in front of the others.

"Let me handle it, dudes." He says calmly, and he whips out a piece of licorice.

"Here we go again..." Hans says.

Jasper shushes him.

"I need total silence. I must concentrate." He says, and slowly but surely, he waves the licorice back and forth underneath Doug's nose.

Slowly, Doug gets up, gets dressed in about five seconds, and then walks out the door.

"What the- How the heck did you do that?" Aaron asks.

"It's just simple laws of aerobics." Jasper says.

"Uh... Don't you mean physics?" Hans remarks.

"What? Hans, you are so dumb sometimes." Jasper says, laughing, and he leaves to go find Doug.

Manny shrugs while Hans is furious, and the other boys leave the cabin.

Once everyone has gathered in the usual spot where they meet Chris for their challenge, and the teams have lined up, faint music begins to play in the background.

"Where is the music coming from?" Tatiana asks slowly, in her thick accent.

"I dunno, but it's AWESOME!" Paula shouts, and she breaks out into hip hop moves.

Jessica grabs her collar and pulls her back into line.

"The Girls have put up with your obnoxiousness enough. Either you calm down, or we kick you off the team. Get it?" Jessica asks her coldly.

Paula stops dancing, and slowly nods.

Jessica rolls her eyes.

"Oh, don't look so sad. You weren't that good of a dancer anyways." She says, laughing.

Paula's mouth opens into a gaint "O".

Andrea gasps, and Molly hides behind her in fear.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" Paula screams in Jessica's face.

"Nothing. I- Nothing." Jessica stutters, surprised by Paula's sudden outburst.

"Oh, sure. Sure, it was nothing. LIKE @#$% IT WAS NOTHING-" Paula continues to scream in a shocked Jessica's face.

The two stand in silence for a moment, and then Sara steps forward to support Jessica.

"Listen, Paula, Jessica obviously-" She begins.

"OH, NO. DON'T YOU GET INVOLVED IN THIS, BLONDIE." Paula shouts abruptly at Sara, who immediately backs up from the two.

"Okay, okay, I just-"

"NO. NO YOU DIDN'T ANYTHING." Paula continues, and then she turns back to Jessica to stare at her violently.

Jessica stares back in fear.

And then Chris jumps out from behind a bush in a male cheerleader outift.

"Hey guys! Like my- Aw, none of you are paying attention." He says sadly, throwing his pom-poms down onto the ground.

Paula turns away from Jessica, and smiles at Chris.

"I love your costume!" She says happily.

All the guys shout and whistle at Chris.

"Hey Chris," Manny calls, "You look HOT in that!" The other guys laugh.

Chris throws some dirt at Manny's face, and he coughs and sputters.

"Sorry I had to do that, but you gave me no choice." Chris says haughtily, and then he turns to everyone else.

"If none of you have been paying attention," He says, glancing at the eternally-sleeping Doug, and the Jessica who looks down at the ground, "The challenge is obviously based on cheerleading. Each team will have to make the best cheer and dance routine. Winners are safe, losers go to elimination. Everyone got it? Good. Go!"

The Boys group together, in a huddle.

"Okay, listen guys. We have to win this." Hans says.

"No, we don't. There's still a few people who shouldn't be here..." Manny replies, glancing at Doug.

Hans frowns at him.

"I'd rather keep him and see Jessica go home." He says, and Manny smiles at the thought.

"Okay dudes, let's get down to business." Trevor says, and they huddle tighter.

Meanwhile, The Girls, seeing the guys huddle, do the same.

"What are we going to do?" Andrea asks her team.

"Well, I've got an idea!" Paula says happily, and she turns on some music on her ipod.

"J-E-S-S-I-C-A. What does that spell? Jessica! And what does that mean? RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Paula cheers.

Jessica frowns at her.

"I may have taken your crap before, but not any more. We need to win this guys, so just ignore Paula's outburts." She says, frusterated.

Sara nods, and her eyes light up.

"I have pom-poms in my bag! I'll go get them!" She calls happily.

Paula starts dancing and singing again.

"Of course you do, you are poo!" She sings.

Sara frowns at her and runs off.

Andrea and Molly walk up to Paula, who is dancing by herself, while Jessica plans the dance routine with the other girls.

"Paula, I know you are angry, we all are. But you can't say things like that to people like Jessica and Sara. It won't turn out well for you-" Andrea says to Paula, who doesn't really listen.

"Thanks for the advice sweetheart! Oh, and could you tell Jessica to @#$% off for me, will you?" She says.

Andrea sighs, and her and Molly walk away.

"At least we tried..." Molly murmurs.

Back with the guys, progress is being made... Although it doesn't seem to be the best progress there is.

"Okay, and a one, and a two, and a three..." Manny whispers.

The rest of his team bursts out into very pretty sounding chords. As they sing them, Manny accompanies them with the melody.

"Oh Chris, I know you are the best, you really, really are. We'd make this song even better, but we don't have a guitar. I-" He sings, when Hans interupts him.

"Ya, that's great Manny, but all it is is a kiss-up song to Chris. And I mean..." Hans complains.

"Be quiet Hans. Nobody wants to here you blab on and on." Manny says flatly.

Hans scowls.

"I'm just trying to help the team, you know-"

"You're not!" Trevor shouts, and then covers his mouth. "Sorry, didn't me to yell that outloud."

Hans scowl at him, too.

The Girls are starting to get their cheer and dance together, now that they also have pom-poms, but Paula keeps on interrupting.

"Give me a-" Tatiana begins.

"JESSICA SUCKS!" Paula yells.

"Now give me a-" Alexi continues.

"SARA DOES ALSO!" Paula shouts.

Sara stops everyone.

"Okay, listen up Paula. This has gotten far enough. Just shut the @#$%-" She says angrily, when Jessica grabs her and pulls her aside.

"Listen, Sara. I know you can't stand Paula, and I can't either. But just let her dig her own grave. Then, when we lose, everyone will want to vote her out." Jessica says quietly.

Sara gasps silently, and then smiling deviously, the two girls join their team mates.

Chris approaches the two practicing teams.

"Okay guys, two minutes left, and then we'll just do the cheering here." He says.

"Wait, what about the ampitheatre?" Alissa asks.

"No ampitheatre. Chef was using it earlier for his ex-convict ballet recital, and one of the dudes broke through the stage and now he has to repair it." Chris says blatantly.

The scene switches to Chef hammering in pieces of wood into the stage, where there is a huge hole. He mumbles profanities to himself.

A big, hairy guy in a ballet tutu comes up to him. He has menacing tatoos all over his arms.

"I... I'm real sorry. I-" He says unhappily.

"Shut. UP." Chef says angrily, and the guy, wiping a tear away from his eyes, walks off.

The scene switches back to the campers and Chris.

"Okay, two minutes is up. Time to cheer. First up... Hmm, The Girls." Chris says.

All of the girls get into a triangular formation, with Sara at the tip, facing the audience.

Chris watches them excpectantly.

They all turn around, and then some of the girls start singing in the background.

"Who runs the world, girls. Who runs the world, girls, who runs the world-" They sing queitly, building suspense, and just as Sara whips around with cool shades on and pom-poms flying everywhere, Paula steps in front of her.

"Jessica's a @#$% &^$% $%^$%^ $%^." She says calmly, and as the other girls facepalm and stop singing, Paula grabs Sara's pom-poms and attempts to shove them up her butt.

"Oh my- Paula, what are you doing? STOP IT!" Chris cries, running forward and grabbing the deranged girl.

"I was just trying to party, dude. You should try it some time, you're such a tool. Fool." Paula says to him, smirking as he grabs her by the collar and drags her away.

"Don't you start with that Northworth crap, crazy girl. Now, everyone," Chris says, looking over at the other team too, who is preparing for their turn, "I don't even want to see The Boys perform. Girls lose, because now I'm in a really bad mood."

The guys cry out angrily and throw all their supplies on the ground.

"Aww, and we were so good, too! I wasn't even going to make it awkward or anything!" Xenon says unhappily.

Hans rolls his eyes.

"By saying that, you just did." He says, scowling.

"Uh... I guess I did. Sorry." Xenon says quietly, and then he fades away into the air.

"O_o" His team says, and Chris facepalms.

"First the ampitheatre, then Paula's episode, and now Xenon doesn't EVEN EXIST?" Chris screams, "Girls, I'll see you at elimination. Dudes, go relax. There's a big day ahead of us tomorrow everyone, BTW." Chris says, smirking at the end of his sentance.

"Wait, what? What's happening next time?" Alissa questions Chris.

"OH. MY. GOODNESS. I bet it's a surprise party, Lissa!" Alexi cheers happily, grabbing her sisters arm.

"It is not." Chris says, suddenly with a troll face.

Molly faints from shock, and Jessica cringes. Aaron barfs.

"Sorry, sorry." Chris says sadly, and his face returns to normal, "But I'm serious about The Girls losing. See ya later, ladies." He says, and walks off.

* * * *

The teens head back to their cabins, but the girls lounge around the area, discussing who to vote out.

Jessica and Sara are seen standing together.

"Okay, Paula needs to go. It seems like nothing will work on her now, not cussing, not swearing, not mouth flatulence-"

Sara cuts her off. "Mouth flatulence?" She asks Jessica.

"Sorry. It's a term my dad uses." Jessica says quickly, trying to change the subject.

"Okay, I get it, but mouth flatulence?" Sara continues, "It sounds like somone's farting out of their mouth! Or even worse, they could be poo-"

Jessica covers Sara's mouth, both of them gagging.

Once they have both recovered, Jessica speaks again.

"Okay, that wierd conversation aside, Paula needs to go. We just need to get some easy loner votes..." She says sneakily, glancing over Tatiana, who's sitting alone, "And Paula will be out of here. Although I wouldn't doubt that every other alliance on the team is contemplating outing Paula, she was a mess in the challenge."

Sara stares at her. She wasn't listening to a word her friend said, because she tuned out when she saw Aaron working out behind Jessica.

"Uh... I mean, yes. Let's do this thing!" Sara says suddenly, and Jessica nods happily.

Aaron looks up, and sees Sara staring at her.

His eyes open wide, and he sprints off, terrified.

Sara sighs, and her and Jessica walk off.

"The one time I'm not wearing makeup..." Sara mumbles.

* * * *

Chris stands before the eight members of The Girls, as they enter the elimination campfire pit. He is holding his traditional metal plate. He grins at them, happily.

"Welcome back ladies, for the- Hmm, what is it? The THIRD time?" He says, laughing.

Alissa frowns at him as her and the other girls sit down.

"The guys have been here three times too, and they lost three people before we did, so-" She begins, angrily.

"Woah, woah, woah." Chris says, cutting her off. "Do I look like I care?" He says, clearing not caring.

Alexi smiles.

"I bet he does. Hey Chris, I bet you do care!" She says first to her sister, and then to Chris himself.

"No, I-" Chris begins, but he sees Alexi begin to tear up, and he stops himself.

"Uh... Ya, sure, I care. So much." He says.

"Yay! I win, I win!" Alexi cheers, but Alissa shushes her.

Chris rolls his eyes.

"Well, sadly Alexi, one person had not won. In fact, they have lost." Chris says dramatically. "Who ever does not recieve a-" He begins, tilting his plate down to reveal what is to be handed out, when Alexi stands up.

"Recieves a hug from me!" She calls happily, and Chris facepalms. Then, he glances at his watch, and seeing they have barely any time left, he nods.

"Fine, whoever gets a hug from Alexi is safe." He says boredly. And the hugs go to Alissa, Tatiana, Molly, Andrea, and... Alexi." Chris says, and then he wonders, "Alexi, how are you going to hug yourse-"

"Done!" Alexi calls, having hugged everyone and then herself at least 10 times each.

Chris looks at her for a couple of seconds, and then continues.

"The next hugs go to... Sara, and Molly."

The two girls recieve their hugs, Sara frowning, and Molly uncomfortable.

Chris looks down upon the bottom two, Jessica, who files her nails, and Paula, who is oddly sharpening an axe.

"What the- Paula, give me that!" Chris screams, grabbing the axe away from her.

"Fine, take my axe, I still got two knives, another axe, and some of those cookies Zoey left behind..." Paula says, opening her bag to reveal the said weapons, including the cookies.

Chris turns green, turns around to hurl, and then turns back to them.

"Listen, Paula, I know you're planning to use those things on Jessica," Chris says, while Paula nods happily, "But please don't. The show can't anymore stuff today. Seriously."

Paula shrugs, and says, "Fine."

Chris rolls his eyes. "Thanks, girly." He says.

"Hey. Don't call me girly. I'm a party animal!" Paula cries happily.

Jessica yells at Chris and Paula together.

"Can we just get on with this?" Jessica cries.

"Whatever," Chris says, "The person who is eliminated from Total Drama Campsite is...

Paula. Jessica, unfortunately for the rest of us stuck here with you, Paula is out."

Paula gasps as she stands up, and Jessica bursts into laughter.

"Oh, Paula, you are just hilarious." Jessica says meanly.

"Jessica, you really don't know when to shut up, do you?" Paula says snidely, and she whips out one of Zoey's cookies and throws it into Jessica's mouth.

She immediatly barfs all over Sara, who sits beside her.

"Oh no!" Tatiana cries.

"Oh yes." Paula says, and she turns on a disco beat on her ipod.

"All see you guys at the finale! Well, hopefully not Jessica and Sara, but whatevs. Good night, ya'll! You've been a great audience!" Paula sings happily to the beat, and she dances off down the Path of Shame.

Chris shrugs at The Girls, who are all still pretty wierded out by Paula, she he turns to the cameras.

"Well, that was an interesting episode! I'll see all you guys, hopefully, next time on Total Drama Campsite!"

The screen fades to black, and the ending credits play.

Chapter 8- Academician Impossible
Chris is seen, washing the windows of his and Chef's cabin for the season. He stands on a step ladder, and is holding a cloth and a bucket.

He wipes his brow, and sighs.

"Where's Chef when you need him?" Chris asks no one in particular, clearly not wanting to do any work.

The scene switches over to Chef in his beat up dune buggy, stuck in miles of traffic on the freeway.

"Oh, come on! The one time I decide to take the 69, the whole thing is jammed!" Chef yells angrily, beeping his horn.

The dude in the car beside him sticks his head out the window, and winks at Chef. For a second, the cook is clueless, and then he gags for a couple of seconds.

"Ya... No, I'm good, I was just... No. No. NO." Chef says to the man, loudly.

The man's eyes droop, and he starts to whimper.

"Aww, man, don't cry. I just think you deserve so much better than me. Ya, that's it." Chef says, laughing nervously.

The man smiles, and closes his window.

Chef wipes his brow.

"Where's Chris when you need him?" He says wearily.

Meanwhile, back at the campsite, Jessica walks up to Chris, stands on her tippy-toes, and spits onto the window Chris had been cleaning.

Chris glares at her.

"What was that for?" He asks her, angrily.

"I was just helping, Chris. Sorry if I disturbed your fun time." Jessica says, walking off.

Chris yells back at her, "You think this is my free time? My free time is imagining you voted off in a million different scenarios, that's what my free time is!"

Jessica rolls her eyes, and continues back to the girls' cabin.

"Ya, sure it is. Great comeback, genius." She says mockingly.

Chris mutters a swear under his breath, and gets back to work.

"Where's Chef when you-" He begins.

* * * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Campsite!" Chris says happily, greeting the cameras, "Last time, in the cheer-based challenge, Paula lost it on Jessica and Sara, while Manny seemed pretty keen on losing. But in the end, Paula's outbursts were just too much, and once The Girls lost, she was voted out. Ya, I know, I'm as shocked as you that Jessica is still here. Trust me." He says, glancing over at the campers' cabins, where the teens are getting ready for the day.

The Boys are ready for the day already, as Doug's snoring kept them up all night, and they all eventually just gave up on sleeping and got dressed at 5:00.

But of course, Doug is still in his bed.

Manny kicks him in the shin, but he doesn't budge. "Man, this dude knows how to dream." He says, annoyed.

"Let's just leave him. He'll just get up soon anyways." Trevor says, but he doesn't seem so sure.

"I'd try my licorice tactics, but I don't know if it would work. He's really zonked this time." Jasper adds, chewing on some of his candy.

Hans looks at him oddly.

"Uh, what the heck does 'zonked' mean?" He asks him, sounding sarcastic.

Jasper starts laughing randomly, and he slaps Hans on the back in a friendly manner.

"Aww, man, you crack me up." Jasper says, and at that, he walks out the door.

The second Jasper is outside, Doug gets up, and follows him. Aaron facepalms.

"Finally, he's out of here, and now we can sleep!" He exclaims, a second before they hear Chris's voice over the intercom, telling them to arrive for their challenge for the day.

Xenon sighs.

"Well, at least we'll sleep easy on Friday." He says, sounding relieved.

Manny looks at him.

"How does that even make sense? What the heck are you talking about?" He questions Xenon.

Xenon freaks out.

"I don't know what I say half the time! Why would you even ask me that?" He screams, and he storms out of the cabin, the other dudes following him.

The Girls, who have had an unusually uneventful morning, merge with The Boys in front of their cabins. All of the campers stand there awkwardly, until Chris shows up.

"Hey guys," Chris says, sounding out of breath, "I've just got to go grab something from my cabin, I'll just be a minute. Oh, and don't just stand there likes bumps on a log, converse with each other!" And at that, Chris runs off.

Manny immediatly seizes the opportunity to flirt with some of the girls, and he walks right over to Tatiana, who is standing by herself.

"Hey there, baby. You look quite smexy this evening." Manny says in a seductive voice.

Tatiana smiles at him, and responds, "Uh, excusez-moi, je ne connais pas la signification de cette «smexy» dont vous parlez."

Manny stares at her, completely dumfounded. She smiles at him awkwardly, and he eventually slips back over to Trevor and Aaron, who await his arrival.

"So, what was she like? Get any booty?" Aaron asks him, jokingly.

Manny shakes his head, and sighs. "Naw, man. That girl's more trouble than a giraffe with a rake. She talks in some wierd language; I've never heard of it before." He complains.

Tatiana, who is still standing alone, turns to the three boys, waves, and calls out, "Oh, this language I speak in is français!"

Manny waves and smiles back, yelling, "That's nice. I like pineapples to." When he turns back to his friends once again, he says, "Man, you see what I mean? Jeez."

Meanwhile, Jessica and Sara have been watching Manny and Tatiana from afar. They have also been watching all of the other boys and girls slowly interact with each other. And they hate it.

"A complete throw in our plans. I mean, who could have predicted interaction between the opposite genders? I mean come on, that never happens. And now we've got to get a whole new strategy together." Jessica complains quietly to Sara.

Sara just nods, agreeing with everything. "Ya, ya, definantly. Agreed 100%. Tots McGots." Sara says quietly.

Jessica turns on her friend. "Sara, how can you be agreeing with me, when you haven't even done anything to contribute to this partnership? I mean, all you do is sit there on your fat butt and agree with everything I say! I mean, WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT?" Jessica begins screaming at Sara.

Sara just sighs calmly, and crosses her arms. "Jess, I have lots of ideas. But if I ever said them, you'd just yell at me, or ignore me. So I do what I think is best: I listen. And you know I'm more of an observant person, anyways. So just... calm down."

Jessica takes a deep breath, and apologizes. "Sorry, Sara." She says.

Sara doesn't get that the conversation is over. "And what is up with your temper? Do you have like, anger management problems or something? Oh, and don't even get me started on your breasts-"

"That's QUITE enough, Sara." Jessica says loudly.

Chris finally returns, this time with a piece of paper in his hands. He shuffles everyone into one big line, and then stands in front of them.

"Alright everyone. Guess what?" Chris asks the group.

"We actually get to have breakfast? Because the author always leaves out us having any meals ever!" Jasper yells at Chris, chewing on some licorice. A couple of the other campers cheer.

"No, no, not that. Forget about eating for the rest of the season, we're too cheap to do that. The truth is... We're getting new teams!" Chris shouts happily.

The group of teens immediatly bursts into chaos. A few are cheering, others are screaming, some are crying, one is farting, some are-

"ENOUGH!" Chris screams, and everyone stops talking. "Okay, let's get this straight. If I say your name, your new cabin is the girls cabin. And, that's your new team. Alright?" Some of the campers say alright, but no one is really listening. Chris continues anyway.

"Doug, Xenon, Molly, Andrea, Manny, Hans, and Tatiana. You guys are the first new team. Now walk!" Chris says.

Doug sleepily stumbles over to the cabin, Andrea and Molly hug each other happily. Tatiana and Xenon, who are both alone, walk over to the cabin in silence.

Xenon approaches Tatiana, smiling.

Tatiana gives Xenon a kind look. Xenon isn't looking at her face, though.

"Hey Tats. Tits. Tat- o_O" Xenon says, and then he walks away.

"Uh..." Tatiana mumbles.

Manny is not happy to be seperated from Trevor and Aaron, his two best buds.

"Aww, come on Chris! I've got to be with Trev and Aary, you know that! There, like, ma best buds! I need them, yo!" Manny complains.

Trevor pats Manny's back. "It's okay, man. At least you're not with Jessica." He says, shuddering at the thought. Jessica rolls her eyes.

"Wait, since when have you called me Aary?" Aaron asks Manny quietly, but he doesn't hear him.

Hans grabs Manny's arm, and drags him towards their new cabin. "Let's go, wine-o." He says, chuckling at his own joke.

Manny shrugs, and lets himself get dragged.

Chris turns to the rest of the campers. "So, that means the second team, with the dudes cabin, is Sara, Jessica, Aaron, Trevor, Jasper, Alexi, and Alissa."

Alexi grabs her sister's arms and jumps up and down. "Yay, we're together Lissy! Yay, Lissy and Lexi, together, yay, yay!" She cries happily.

Alissa just stands there, waiting for her to stop. When she does, they both just walk over to the cabin silently.

When she sees Sara and Jessica walking over to them, she facepalms. "Aww, f-"

"Well hey there, Alissa. Nice to see that your sister can have a good time." Jessica remarks, watching Alexi sing to herself quietly and bounce up and down.

Alissa puts on a fake smile. "Ya, sure." She says.

Sara pushes up against Alissa. "Now that we're on a new team, we just wanted to make sure that you weren't gonna, you know, screw us over or anything. Not that you would..." Sara whispers, intimidatingly.

"Oh, no. Never." Alissa says, through gritted teeth. "Now if you two are done trying to freak me out, why don't you go deal with someone else."

"Sure. See ya later, sweetheart." Jessica says sweetly, rubbing her face where Alissa gave her a black eye just a few days ago. Alissa rolls her eyes when they're gone.

Alissa looks over at Alexi. She's smiling happily, like she just figured something out.

"Wow, those two are real bitc-"

The scene switches over to Jessica and Sara again, who are now having a breif discussion.

"So, we've figured out are plan 'till merge, right?" Sara asks Jessica, who nods.

"Yep. So, we get one more person on our side, so then it's three against two against two. That way, we always have majority votes." Jessica says.

"Wait..." Sara says, thinking about it, "What if the two two's teamed up against our one three? Then, it would be four against three, meaning four would win every time."

"No, but our three could easily team up with one of the two two's, making it five against two, an easy win for us."

"Are you sure? What if there aren't any two's in the first place, and we we're the only three? Or what if our number three in our three switched over to the other two two's? Then, it could easily turn out to be five against two, not in our favour."

"Oh, that would never happen." Jessica says in a closing way, and the two girls sit in silence, thinking over their modified plans.

Chris claps his hands, and calls for everyone to come to him again. Once everyone is there, he addresses both teams.

"We need team names, and stat. We're running out of time here, people. And we haven't even had a challenge yet." Chris says quickly.

Manny doesn't even have to think before he yells, "Team Nojessicathankgod." Hans cheers, and Jessica sneers at Manny.

Chris shrugs. "Meh, why not. But let's shorten it to 'Team Anti-Jessica'" He says, sounding bored.

Jessica looks shocked. "What?" She yells, "You're actually going to allow that?"

"Oh, don't look so surprised, missy. It's not like you're the nicest person at the camp." Chris responds.

Jessica crosses her arms, and rolls her eyes.

"Anyways, what's your team name?" Chris asks the team with no name yet. Sara speaks up.

"Why don't we be The Leopards? They're a fast, cool animal." She says, looking at her team mates for support. Jessica nods her head in approval.

"Any objections?" Chris asks the team. Right before he is about to deem the team with their new title, Alexi raises her hand and starts to jump up and down.

"Oh, oh, I've got an idea! How about Team Nyan Leopards? Then we're the cutest, and most ferocious team!" She says happily. Alissa facepalms.

Jessica is about to go into an objectifying rant, but Chris manages to speak before her.

"I love it," He says, smiling deviously at at mortified Jessica, "Team Anti-Jessica, and Team Nyan Leopards! Wonderful."

Jessica lets out an annoyed growl, and Sara pats her back.

"It's okay, Jess. Don't worry, it's all gonna be worth it." Sara says quietly to her, trying to prevent an impending tantrum. Jessica eventually calms down.

"So. New teams, it's time for your first challenge." Chris says happily.

Hans rolls his eyes. "Oh, goody." He remarks sarcastically.

Chris ignores him. "Basically, in my cabin, Chef and I have set up a small classroom. Everyone has their own desk, and a pencil, and an eraser. I will be giving out a short, two page test to all of you. Team with the most right answers wins. Got it? Now follow me to the classroom, students."

At that, he walks off, and the two new teams follow him at a slow pace.

After everyone has sat down in a seat, Chef starts handing out the tests in a sexy teacher outfit. Manny snickers harshly, and Chef shoots him an evil stare. But other than that, everyone gets right into the quiz.

Alexi raises her hand about five minutes in. Chris points to her.

"Ya, um, what's the answer to the first question?" She asks innocently. Chris sighs.

"I can't tell you that, Alexi." He answers.

"Oh, okay." Alexi whispers, and she scribbles something down. "Um, can you tell me the answer for the second one then?"

Chris facepalms.

"No."

"But what about-"

"OKAY." Chris screams, and Alexi flinches. Then, suddenly, Chris has a trollface.

"JK, I'd never tell you." He says nastily.

Alissa glares at Chris for mocking her sister, but doesn't say anything. Alexi has stopped listening to Chris, anyways, and gone back to scribbling on her test paper.

A couple of minutes later, Chris glances at his watch. "Ten minutes left." He says, smiling when the campers let out a groan.

Unexpectedly, Jasper walks up to the front of the classroom and slams his test onto the desk in front of Chris. Everyone gasps.

"Man, you're DONE?" Aaron exclaims, still on question eleven.

Jasper nods. "Ya-huh."

Chris glances down at Jasper's paper, and smirks.

"What, what's so funny?" Jessica asks.

"Aww, man, don't you guys worry about Jasper finishing the test so quickly. It's not anything to be proud of, let me tell you that.

Jessica slams her fist down on her desk, hard. Molly, beside her, gives a start.

"Damn it, Jasper! We need this win to pull ahead!" Jessica screams, as Molly whimpers and hides her head in her arms.

Andrea raises her hand high in the air, and Chris calls on her. She stands up.

"Chris, could you please tell Jessica to shut the eff up? She's starting to upset Molly." Andrea says, and she sits down awkwardly.

Everyone stares at Andrea, shocked. Probably the most shocked of all, however, is Jessica. Her eye starts to twitch randomly.

"Alrighty then," Chris says loudly, trying to break the tension, "It's time for Chef to collect your tests."

Chef grumbles something about lazy kids and him doing all the work all the time, and then starts picking up the tests.

"Why don't you all go wait outside while I collect the test scores?" Chris says as Chef hands him the pile of papers, and the kids do as he asks.

Everyone, the second they get outside, walk over to the wall of the cabin and put their ears against it, trying to listen to Chris and Chef.

Suddenly, all of the campers hear a ruckus of laughter exlode from the cabin, as if fifty people were all laughing at the same time. And then, suddenly, everything is quiet again.

Chris comes jumping out of the cabin door, laughing his head off, with Chef right behind him.

All of the contestants watch them, awaiting the results. But Chris and Chef would rather continue to laugh than give them what they want. And so they do.

Sara starts tapping her foot impatiently, and Xenon glances over at her, watching her foot go up and down. Sara notices this, and shakes her fist in his direction. He jerks backwards, and trips over Doug, who is asleep on the floor. Chris and Chef are still laughing, however.

It takes a while for them to recover from their fit, but after both men have calmed down, Chris starts to talk again.

"Well then..." He says, wiping a tear from his eye, "Those sure were some interesting tests, let me tell you that much. But in the end, with only about two marks more than the other team, was The Leopards. But trust me, it really was a close call." And at that, he bursts into laughter again.

As Jessica's team erupts all around her with cheers, she rolls her eyes at Chris, although she is smiling. "Oh Chris, " she says, "stop making fun of our stupidity."

"At this point," Chris replies, "you guys are so stupid, I couldn't even call it that. I'd say you were somewhere in between a trash can and a deformed walnut in terms of smarts. And I'm being generous, here."

Jessica glares at Chris, but then just turns away from him and cheers with her team mates.

Meanwhile, Manny is facepalming non-stop.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid! Crap, crap, crap! Turd, turd, turd-"

"Manny, calm down. It's just one challenge. We can win the next one!" Andrea says happily, trying to cheer her team mate up. Molly nods her head in approval.

Manny looks at them, and he starts to smile, but Chris walks over and says, "That's it, I'm officially calling you guys The Facepalms from now on. And the other team," Chris looks over at Alexi playing with a blade of grass, while Alissa watches in disapproval, "can now be The Nyan Hippies. All Clear?" He then walks away.

Andrea looks at Manny for a second, and then walks away as he starts pounding his face again.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid..."

<p style="text-align: center;">* * * *

The newly formed Facepalms are sitting in a semi-circle, in front of a rather frusterated Chris. This night, he's holding up a metal tray of javelins. And he doesn't look like he's in a very good mood.

"Hey, Chris, um," Tatiana begins to say, but doesn't know how to put it, "Why did we skip the elimination discussing scenes, with the alliances and such?"

Xenon agrees, staring at Tatiana in an odd way, "Ya, Tats is right. Shouldn't they have a right to know what's going on?" He says.

Tatian notices Xenon's gaze, and she shuffles away from him.

"Fine. I'm pretty pissed right now because we had to skip it, anyway, because of budget cuts. But you know what, sassy producer people, who STILL haven't gotten me that iPhone, even when I asked from it like ten months ago? I'm going to just tell the viewers what happened, whether you like it or not. But... I've got to hurry it up." Chris says, sounding angry.

Hans cheers, liking the ranting. "You go, girl!" He calls at Chris, who ignores him.

"So, Andrea and Molly talked about alliance matters, and stuff. Turns out that Andrea finds Manny useful, and thinks that he is a nice person deep down, even though he clearly is a turd," Chris throws a javelin straight at Manny, who screams in terror and jumps out of the way, "so he's safe. Xenon went over to Tatiana, and kind of sexually abused her with words, no joke, that dude's messed, but she didn't really know what he was saying anyways, so she's safe," Chris shoots another javelin to Tatiana, and she dives to the right, "oh, did I mention Molly and Andrea are good for the night, too? Well, they are," two more javelins go flying at the girls, and they both manage to survive the shots, "so that leaves Hans, Doug, and Xenon. Well, Hans is mean, but all Doug does is sleep and Xenon is just the wierdest person I've ever met, so they really all have a fair chance of being out, but the next javelin goes to Hans," He shoots the very dangerous looking weapon with extra strength this time, and it nearly chops Hans's head off. Hans starts to complain, in a very scared way, but Chris cuts him off.

"No way, Hans. I am not in the mood," Chris looks down at the sleeping Doug, and the petrified Xenon, "And the final javelin of the night goes to...

Xenon. Doug, with almost all the votes against you, you have been eliminated from Total Drama Campsite."

Doug doesn't even move. He just lies on his stump, sound asleep.

"Uh, Chris, should we get someone to move him?" Andrea asks quietly. Chris isn't listening, though, he's aiming yet another javelin at Doug's butt.

Jasper randomly appears out of nowhere, right before Chris stabs Doug, and whips out a piece of licorice. As the rest of The Facepalms watch, Doug gets up, grabs the licorice, salutes his team mates, and walks along the Path of Shame, chewing the licorice he got from Jasper.

Jasper winks at Chris. "Just doing my job." He says, and walks off.

Chris turns to the cameras. "Well, that was a semi-interesting episode. Sorry for the long pause, folks, Chef is totally driving me insane. Anyways, tune in next time, and peace out!"

Chapter 9- The Great Solitary Assignment
Xenon is sitting on the floor of The Facepalm's cabin, reading a book.